Second Thoughts

[Kewlest]

I have less than 73 days left before I am due to arrive in New Zealand. As each day passes I grow more and more terrified. I am leaving a great paying job in hopes of starting my life. I will be walking away 12 months shy of my vested date…there goes my 401K match down the drain. Everyday a different doubt pops into my head. Will I get a job before I blow through my savings? Is using my savings to emigrate a smart decision knowing that my home country is experiencing an economic crisis and I may be forced to go back home with tail between legs? Is New Zealand where I really want to live? Am I running from something or someone? Will New Zealand welcome me with open arms, or will I be considered a third class citizen. Will I make it in New Zealand? How much time (or what dollar amount) should I give myself in New Zealand before I make the decision that emigration is a lost cause?

I know I am showing up at the worst possible time of year, but without a job there is no incentive to show up prior to my scheduled arrival. I could use a lot of reassurance. Is it cold feet or are the warning signs blaring?


I can't go back to the US until after 1 January 2011 (The IRS will rip me a new one if I go back sooner), so why not give it a go in New Zealand, RIGHT?????

[Bruckner]

We moved here on a bit of whim and left jobs we were happy with, a rent controlled apartment one block from Central Park in NYC (I still don't think I'm over it) and friends and family. It's not been an easy three years and there were times when I thought we should quit while we're ahead and go back but we stuck it out. Now we own a house in a great area, the kids go to a lovely local primary school, we've made some really good friends and I wouldn't change a thing. Except maybe sublet the apartment before we left.

You won't know until you get here. Give it go.

Emily

Emily

[Alia]

a rent controlled apartment one block from Central Park in NYC

Wow, didn't know such a thing exists. I used to live in Washington Heights, right next to the George Washington bridge with unbelievable traffic noise and really polluted air 24/7. That apartment was rent controlled, but....

[JaniceW]

If it's any consolation, we are going through the same thing. Departing for NZ in Oct with no jobs and our savings. OH leaving great job here, but I've been retrenched and my prospects here are not good with an unemployment rate of 42%. Therefore my prospects of finding a job in NZ are better than here I hope. I think you really have to figure out why you want to leave and why you have chosen NZ. For us there are too many uncertainties in SA - massive strike at the moment affecting education and health care - babies being left unattended in hospitals as striking nurses barricade entrances and won't allow volunteers and even the babies own mothers in. It is heartbreaking. So for us it's more a matter of no longer having a choice. We must take this chance. As to why NZ? We looked at other options, but like the idea of a small place with less people, similar lifestyles, child friendly and lots of SA expats who are happy there. We are not making the move for financial gain and I think that's an important consideration. There are benefits for us that no amount of money can provide here. Relatives and friends have settled very quickly and love it. We are under no illusions that this will be easy, but we are also hopeful and have made peace with our decision. If it doesn't work out, we will have to accept that too. I think it's pretty normal to feel the way you do, excited one moment and scared the next. Best of luck and chin up.

[ralf-nz]

... you really have to figure out why you want to leave and why you have chosen NZ.

That's it!

And if it helps make a simple table with pluses and minuses; count and check.

[Aquarian]

It's completely normal to have a wobble - frequencies vary, but ultimately the assurances of why your making the life changing decision reassert themselves regularly too . . . . hope that helps.

[Mickfin]

Personally I would be more worried if you DIDN'T have any doubts. Then I would think you were setting yourself up for a let down and had romanticized the move.
Doubts and fears are normal. I think you would be hard pressed to find anyone that did not have them. Moving is a big deal and add to that it is whole different country that is fairly isolated and the questions have to come up.

[Kewlest]

Thank you all. Every word said has helped. My worry scale was at a 10 now it is at a 9.8. LOL!

[redsheesha]

Personally I would be more worried if you DIDN'T have any doubts. Then I would think you were setting yourself up for a let down and had romanticized the move.
Doubts and fears are normal. I think you would be hard pressed to find anyone that did not have them. Moving is a big deal and add to that it is whole different country that is fairly isolated and the questions have to come up.

I think this is very true. I've been scouring the forums for over a year now looking for the bad, specifically. We want this to be the last stop (ok, maybe Oz after five years, you never know ) and wanted to make sure that we were well prepared for the culture shock crapstorm that new emigrants sometimes face.

You can never really be sure what will happen in your new county, but you can be pretty sure what your attitude toward the trials and tribulations are...if you're the kind of person who can laugh and make do, roll with the punches, then don't worry so much. Whatever happens, you'll be able to make it work and ENJOY it. If you are more of an anxious, easily affected person who may not make friends easily and will feel like the comforts of home must be met, maybe give it another thought if you don't think the anxiety is worth it.

Good luck - not an easy decision to make. All the best

[magcats]

Everything you feel is probably so similar to what everyone else has felt prior to the move. I like to fluctuate back and forth because it keeps me on my toes...and my emotions can just rock out!

I have a feeling that once the airplane leaves the ground you'll be feeling the high (no pun intended) from the anticipation of an entirely new lifestyle. Remember to always make the most of a new experience. If you go into this with any negativity, your experience will be just that: negative. Instead think of all the possibilities and all the positives of living in such an incredible country. Yes, it's important not to go in with rose-colored glasses, but to keep a positive outlook all the while.

I wish you NOTHING, but the best!!!