Help needed – Child getting bullied

A shout for all possible guidance / suggestions / experiences

We moved to New Zealand from Singapore more than a year ago. In the last 1+ year, our child (she is a single child) has undergone multiple episodes of bullying. We absorbed and kept teaching our child to be kind / not pay attention to such comments / tricks .

However this year (last 2 terms), most kids in her class have stereotyped her and pick on her too often. She was able to make a few friends last year but unfortunately kids who were friendly with her last year have stopped playing / talking with her. She tells us that most kids who bully her , influence her friends and gang up.

When she tries to approach someone to play / eat lunch, she is hearing rejections – “go away, don’t follow us etc “ . She is now starting to give up, becoming a loner and melts down very frequently.

We spoke to the class teacher last term and brought it to his notice but nothing major has changed . And in all honesty, not sure if they can push other kids to play with our child etc. We are not sure if we should even expect this ??!!!

This call is to ask any parents / families who may be able to guide, throw some light, give ideas etc.

Note : Change of school is our last option, because logistically and decile wise, this school is very good and suits us. But ofcourse there is nothing more than our child’s happiness. So just kept that as a last option.

There is a national policy. This is not supposed to pass unchallenged. You have every right to push for things to be taken further. https://education.govt.nz/assets/Doc...cies-bullying/

Very sorry to hear about that experience- it is always hard to see your child suffer and not being able to help!

I would second JandM's post- the school is supposed to act. You are right, they can't force the children to play with your child, but they should talk to the class and make them understand what they are doing. I am not sure how old your child is, and if there is a specific reason to single her/ him out?

Our youngest son had problems twice, first at Intermediate School, then again later at his first year of high school. But both times the teacher was very helpful and supportive. And it was always only a couple of kids that were the problem, which probably makes it a lot easier to deal with.

I hope you get some good advice!

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Originally Posted by harmon

We spoke to the class teacher last term and brought it to his notice but nothing major has changed . And in all honesty, not sure if they can push other kids to play with our child etc. We are not sure if we should even expect this ??!!!

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I am so sorry your child is dealing with this, it's really awful. My child has had a lot of problems at school and it's awful as a parent to see your child unhappy :(

As the other replies said, the school absolutely should be doing something about this! "Nothing has changed" is unacceptable.

Yes they can push kids to play with your child, one of my son's schools had a policy called 'circle of friends', teachers would ask a group of responsible kids to look after the one being bullied. If that's not possible, there should be another way for your child to feel safe at lunchtime, for example for a while my son would walk around with the teacher who was on playground duty.

You absolutely should expect something to be done about this. Class teachers are often so busy dealing with all the day-to-day problems that they don't deal with things properly. Make an appointment to see the principal. Keep pushing until you are satisfied.

Best wishes, and let us know how you get on.

Thanks everyone for your response ... will reach the school.