$55k a year...is it enough?

[Graham Barnes]

Hi all,

Noted the above discussion on boarding schools with interest...not least because I went to one (13-18), and have taught in a total of three over my 12 year teaching career. This is not meant as a sales pitch for boarding, but a few of the earlier comments mirror the sort of stereotypical statements which really get my blood boiling...
So here goes;

1. Lesli is correct in that going at 6/7 is completely different to 12/13. But most at early ages just stay for one night every now and again, or go home every weekend (i.e. far more flexible). By 13/14, many (NOT ALL!!) children are ready to spread their wings and be given more independence. Thus going to a boarding school can benefit both children and parents.
2. Very few children nowadays 'get sent' to boarding school-most of them are actively involved in the choice of one. 'Abandoning'...
3. Boarding schools today are VERY different places to those in 1960s/1970s. I will fully accept that there was some shocking practice 25+ years ago, but this is a completely outdated perception. They are much happier places-any which did not change, would have gone out of business years ago.
4. Most childen go to a boarding school within 1-2 hours driving from home-which means that they usually see their parents over other weekend or so. The old 'here you are, see you when you're 18' is completely out of date.
Parents are not abdigating their parental responsibilities at all-boarding schools are very expensive places, and most families require two incomes (and fewer holidays, cars etc) to be able to afford them.
ALthough many people undoubtedly hated boarding schools in the past (and some will still do now!), from my experience, they are far fewer.
As well as providing all sorts of activities which you just don't get at day schools, they develop self-confidence, self-responsibility and teach children how to live within a community and consider each other. If only all children were like that...
If a growing slice of the country wishes to use boarding schools, they must be doing something right!

PS How did a thread on $55,000 get onto this topic??

[Nicola]

Sorry Leslie I must be picking you up all wrong, I am sure it is my understanding not your post.

I agree the statistics are awful in this country and yes victorian attitudes and the backlash against such attitudes are a lot to blame.

I do not speak for all of the North of England. We live right on the border and in a very rural area. No things are not perfect here. The point I was trying to make was that I can allow the kids more freedom to roam and get into muddy mischief. But we do have our problems as well. I would not advise anyone to move here, we both have to do a 2hr each way commute to get to work in Edinburgh, public transport to rural areas is almost non existant, our local school will be closed in the next couple of months, it is always freezing (if the temperature gets above 16 degrees in the summer that is a hot day!)

I think the point I am trying to make is that some kids in the UK do have a good childhood. Just as some kids in other countries do have a miserable childhood. As parents we have a lot of responsiblity for giving our kids the oppertunities they deserve.

I am not defending all of the UK just saying there are good things and bad things everywhere.

The reason we want to emmigrate to NZ is because we want to live in NZ not because we want to leave the UK.

Nicola

[Moorf]

I removed my post as it was way of topic... sorry, got carried away.

[Diny]

the way some of you go on makes me think that everywhere north of london must be great

Not at all .... it's just that some people 'go on' making sweeping statements that often bare no resemblence to everyday reality. Problems exist - nobody can debate that. But it's obvious that life in a rural, agricultural hamlet is going to be way different to living in the middle of London. Fact.

Alot of us have travelled and lived in other countries, and seen for ourselves what the world has to offer. People living north of London aren't so insular and suffering from tunnel vision as you city folk may think.

While you admire your front door I'll go and pick the hayseeds out of my homespun Jacob sheepswool ganzy and shoo away that darn magpie - he's bad luck you know.

[leslie]

i always enjoy the differing views of the educators from those of the educatees. the educators do tend toward ulimate knowledge until something goes wrong, then they have no idea! i am sure every teacher on this forum is exemplary and will be remembered as one of the v few who mattered when their former students recall those early formative years

the appalling conditions at bs's vs. amentities offered, and in uk loss of gov't bursaries, mean schools are now pulling up their putrid mustard coloured socks to attract the mid income parent. as its hard sell polishing the woodwork is requisite and they are definately better than 10 years ago and yes, for some teens i believe hogwarts IS the best possible situ. i'm going to be kind and leave alone the statement that brit kiddies like to be sent away from their homes.

can never remember what people have said when i try to comment so if i've missed something blame it on my thyroid or a lack of debate skills/ personal character.

there are 3 things about the uk that makes me feel it will never improve however much it may need. one, everyone gets defensive over every last issue when sometimes they need to take a good hard look and reject/ learn. two, everyone thinks they have to please everyone - which is so unsophisticated its almost funny - so they please noone (see gov't legislation - the mothership). three, noone is responsible for anything, their childs diet/ school attendance, their littering, getting smashed in the town centre, robbing old ladies for their fish & chips, actually doing their job as opposed to just being paid for showing up... oh and lucky four, everyone is omniscient yet the lack of professionalism is legendary.

i've ignored the previous edu thread because i knew that in reading it i would probably want to crush all and sundry under my heel. and, as previous notoriously outspoken employer said, i am the only women he knows, wife aside, who has the useful ability to reduce even the nastiest piece of rubbish to a wobbling pile of repentance. since that conversation i've felt hampered by my gift but with the passge of time am starting to like it again... think of me as the tri-headed dog at hogwarts. only meaner and with potentially more influence on the curiculem.

as for generalising - unless it is based on very limited, misleading info and experience it is an acquired skill/ ability not as some forummers believe, an inadequacy. most of the progression in life is the consequence of it. someone had to have generalised in some way for you to have every product or service you use in a day. they had to observe and note something!!! pls note i do not advise jimmy choo on the best way to craft a 4 foot spike heel. i do not tell ellen macarthur how to circumnavigate the globe wearing nothing but a bikini while smoking cigars and drinking champagne. and, while at a pretentious business school i wrinkled a few brows by refusing to devote my attention to forecasting as for the most part i am unable to predict the machinations of mother nature and the stock market. but, if you want to talk about something i have spent 30+ years building a library of information on, you risk the heel.

i do enjoy this forum, even the things i do not comprehend and the minds which boggle, but today it has been invaluable. i have been struggling with my options in nz/ the direction i want to take and thanks to this forum i had a conversation with hub that made it absolutely clear. suddenly i KNOW what the right thing is and i figured it out thanks to you/ the forum. that is pretty great and just goes to show that if you try/ expose yourself to something new you might find answers in peculiar places. now i understand what all those people were doing when they used to come off-load their problms/ ideas at the bar... and possibly this is why people move to lands far away even when they dont fully comprehend why.

for those of you who are wondering, we designed it and the door is absolutely great. like the avareg boarding school, its a huge improvement on what was acceptable 30 odd years ago!









: :

[Diny]

Hhmmmnnn .... interesting concept :?

It's funny how opinions can differ to such extremes. Some may think that making such generalisations as the following is an aquired skill.

everyone gets defensive over every last issue when sometimes they need to take a good hard look and reject/ learn.

and

everyone thinks they have to please everyone - which is so unsophisticated its almost funny

and

noone is responsible for anything, their childs diet/ school attendance, their littering, getting smashed in the town centre, robbing old ladies for their fish & chips, actually doing their job as opposed to just being paid for showing up..

and

everyone is omniscient yet the lack of professionalism is legendary

Others may think it's a sign of naivety, or maybe

a lack of debate skills/ personal character

Who knows ........ and who really cares?

Diny

[kiwidollie]

Diny



Leslie :eek I must be a bit thick because I can't follow most of what you post.

[Timbo]

You are certainly NOT alone in that one kiwidollie.

By the way. could we possibly get back to topic at some point....please.

[veronica]

Is Cavens $55k going to be enough. Anyone able to set up an anon. poll asking people already in NZ to post joint family incomes.

[jo b]

Jeezee Louise,

I feel like I am going to commit harikari,

After ready SEVEN pages I still don't know if we could live off $55nzd

:

Jo