Hague Convention and NZ Family Law

[Max23]

Hi there

Just wondered if any of you have had the misfortune to come across the Hague Convention as I have...
I am English and so is my husband. We emigrated to NZ when i was pregnant and so our child was born here. When i returned home for a holiday and decided not to return he issued legal proceedings against me using the Hague Convention. I had my passports taken by the police, bank accounts frozen and was eventually returned to NZ. I was even escorted to the plane. Now that I'm back in NZ I am fighting to be able to go home with our child who has dual nationality. The fact that he was born in NZ doesn't come into it, it is all about the place of habitual residence. Might take 6 months for the legal proceedings to be resolved - I have to apply for a Relocation Order, meanwhile I am stuck here with no family and no support.

A warning for any of you thinking about emigrating, understand the legal system here beforehand. The attitudes here are very different to back in the UK and the mother does not have the same rights. Rather backwards if you ask me. I only lived in NZ for 2 1/2 years before deciding it wasn't working, now I don't know if I'm going to be able to go home with my child.

New Zealand feels a long way from home right now....

[JandM]

Hello and welcome.

[newarrival]

Hello and welcome..., I do feel sorry for you, but I am also wondering how the situation was fair on your husband, when you decided on your own not to return to new Zealand and keep your mutual child away from him?

I hope everything turns out well for both of you....

[Arwen]

Hello and welcome to the forum Max23.

It's not for me to judge you based on the snippet of information you have provided in your post. Nobody knows anything about the reasons behind your decision or the emotional roller coaster you and your family are experiencing.

Crikey, emigrating is hard enough for most of us on here, let alone having to face a heartbreaking decision such as this as well!!!

You, your husband and child all have my sympathies. I wish you all the best possible outcome for the future.

By the way, whereabouts in NZ are you hun?

[SueDonim]

I am sure it is a difficult situation for all 3 of you. Praying for God's blessings on you, your husband, and your son.

[sophiedb]

Best wishes to all of you, I hope that the situation is resolved speedily so that all of you can move forward.

I have been told many times in the past by relatives that when it comes to judgments NZ is very similar to the UK in that mothers are awarded custody more often than fathers, so you may find that they come out in your favour in the end.

As the friend of an Australian resident whose wife took their son back to the UK (also after going through the legal process), I can very much see your husband's point of view as well though. It will not be easy for any of you, even in years to come - I really hope that it all works out better for you all than it has for them. Being stuck somewhere you don't want to be is never nice, either way.

[Jolie]

As a sideline to this, I'd like to remind couples thinking about migrating to NZ that migration is almost always a stressful process, and it can be very hard on your relationship. And if you are financially strained, that effect can be magnified exponentially. I know that there are couples on here who can tell you that the difficulties involved with emigrating to NZ actually brought them together and made them closer. I also know several couples (including myself) for whom various factors directly or indirectly related to the emigration process ended up significantly contibuting to breaking up their relationship.

This isn't to say "don't emigrate", it's to say "be aware of the possible implications of how the process may affect your lives and your relationship, especially if unforeseen difficulties present themselves during the settlement process".


Max, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. When parents split up, everyone is the loser, especially the child. All I can say is hang in there, do your best to keep it from negatively affecting your child -- and yourself -- and don't lose your spirit whilst trying to work for a good outcome for you and your child.

[Fern01]

The attitudes here are very different to back in the UK and the mother does not have the same rights

I find that hard to credit, mothers had all the rights in many respects, not so long ago, (unless there was something untoward.) I know they were thinking about tightening up about one parent leaving and taking the child, depending on circumstances, the procedure was being abused.

[Kanga]

I've always thought that would be a nightmare of a situation, one that I hadn't considered before emigrating. Indeed my husband worked with someone who after several years here (unhappy ones) the relationship ended, mum was awarded custody and he is stuck living somewhere he hates because he doesn't want to live on the other side to his kids. He's been in this situation for over ten years- a sobering thought

I don't envy you Max, whatever way this ends won't be ideal but I wish you strength and a speedy conclusion. Thanks for sharing your experience

[James 1077]

Hi there

Just wondered if any of you have had the misfortune to come across the Hague Convention as I have...
I am English and so is my husband. We emigrated to NZ when i was pregnant and so our child was born here. When i returned home for a holiday and decided not to return he issued legal proceedings against me using the Hague Convention. I had my passports taken by the police, bank accounts frozen and was eventually returned to NZ. I was even escorted to the plane. Now that I'm back in NZ I am fighting to be able to go home with our child who has dual nationality. The fact that he was born in NZ doesn't come into it, it is all about the place of habitual residence. Might take 6 months for the legal proceedings to be resolved - I have to apply for a Relocation Order, meanwhile I am stuck here with no family and no support.

A warning for any of you thinking about emigrating, understand the legal system here beforehand. The attitudes here are very different to back in the UK and the mother does not have the same rights. Rather backwards if you ask me. I only lived in NZ for 2 1/2 years before deciding it wasn't working, now I don't know if I'm going to be able to go home with my child.

New Zealand feels a long way from home right now....

So you took the child away from his father, over to the other side of the world, without having been awarded custody.

Can you not see that, perhaps, it is you in the wrong and not the legal system?