Can you do a 16 month in post?

[benandclare]

Excellent post Mr V as per normal.

[Aquarian]

Excellent, enjoyed the update !
Thank you
: )

[victoria24]

OK, just to balance the books and all that, I thought I might put my two peneth worth in.....
On the whole I still maintain that I Love New Zealand, there are many things that irritate me but compared to the frustrations and despondency that I felt while living in the Uk, the mild irritants here are nothing. So I object to paying $40 at best for a T-shirt, and begrudge $30 for a mascara but knowing that my kids are happy and are able to bike/scooter to school is something that no amount of money can buy.

I miss my family terribly but not the Country and wonder how I am ever going to get over the guilt I feel by missing my sisters wedding. Even though it is my guilt only and she would never hold it against me, watching the footage of it will never be the same as being there. I could have gone back for it, but having just started a new job and just returning from holiday, I didn't feel that I could. I would also have to put the kids in holiday club for the next year as I would have used all my holiday entitlement. Although I love my sister, I have to put my family first. So daily I live with the guilt of not being there. On the flip side of that, we as a family had a fantastic holiday in Rarotonga, watching whales swimming past and playing in the surf is a wonder that is hard to get over. These are the experiences we are having by living on the other side of the world.

The kids have settled extremely well and it has taken time. I find that the schooling system in NZ is just different from what they are used to, no better and no worse. They are learning things here which they would never have been able to in the UK. They seem to embrace new things while remaining the same strong independent young people they have always been.

We live in a quiet place where the average age is about 70. Therefore by 7pm every night, the neighbours are all tucked up in bed and we have no worries about drunks walking past causing trouble as it seems many of my UK based friends have. It enables us to hear the sea and ensures that we all sleep peacefully in our beds.

In this world of roses, I have trouble every time I park in a supermarket car-park and the person next to me smacks their car door into mine and thinks nothing of it, or the times the driver in fronts slams on their brakes and indicates to go round a bend in the road. I detest the faux-niceness shown by so many, it detracts from the genuinely nice people out there, many who I have the pleasure of speaking to on a daily basis. I notice now how when I walk a few minutes to work I will see 3 or 4 people to say good morning to. Or the times when I walk through the mall and find people stop to have a conversation with me. These are the things I knew would take a long time to build but feel that finally now they have been built.

I am not sure that I will live here forever, although I am more than happy for now, life is too short to think in those terms but for my family I have to learn to just be and to stop worrying about the next big thing. Who knows what or when that might be.

[Mamee & Co]

Great posts Mr & Mrs V.

[Parsley]

Great posts - very realistic. Thank you

[JandM]

I’m heavily considering going to Uni next year to retrain as a teacher but will take a view after I’ve spent some time at my sons school to see what the job really entails. I think the old 9-3 with 13 weeks off a year is rather a simplistic view but I would like to give something back and feel fulfilled.

I know others have reacted to your questions about a teaching career on other threads, but wanted to add my thoughts on a couple of points here.

All jobs have stresses. Teaching CAN BE a good life, AS LONG AS the strengths of your character match up to the places where the stresses are greatest. If they don't, it is hell, and I've seen it pull people to pieces, mentally, and through that, physically. From all your posts since you joined here, I think maybe something you would find really tough is not always having the power to control situations the way you feel is best. (That's not a criticism of you. There are so many groups and individuals who have a say, and influence, over what happens in schools, that often the skill and personal relationships knowledge of the teacher who is best placed to know a particular situation and group is pushed to one side, and it is MADDENING.)

I see you're planning to go testing the water in your son's school. Go into some others as well. Being where your child is a pupil will always give a false impression. Colleagues are different, as there's a different dynamic for X's Mum or Dad from what there is for just another teacher. It's different for the child if once you're teaching in the same school, too. Some colleagues go super-easy on them, which does them no favours with the rest of the class, or they give them no leeway. Also, I had my children in a different department of the school where I worked at one time, and it still was awkward. Some teachers would nab me at breaktime and say, 'Do you know what A said to me in class just now?' - just some minor piece of cheek from my daughter - or that my son had been caught out of bounds, or whatever. I knew darn well that no teacher would be phoning the parent of any other of the children in the same incidents to involve them in dealing with minor day-to-day kids' stuff, so it was not fair to me or my two to do it just for them, but I had to make quite a fuss to get the point across. (I know you don't specifically intend to teach in your children's school, but this is just to fill you in on what can happen.)

I think the old 9-3 with 13 weeks off a year is rather a simplistic view

Emphatically yes. There are hours of preparation and follow-up outside this that the layman doesn't see. Aside from that, there is the fact that dealing with human beings makes relationships, so any worthwhile teacher gets to care deeply about their pupils, and being concerned for them doesn't stop dead when they walk out of the door. You can get woken up at 3 a.m. by bright idea number 95 for what MIGHT work to get little Tommy onside, or stay awake for hours worrying about some bad patch in a friendship group among your class. I know I would regularly work more than 60 hours a week in term-time, with aspects of the job on my mind more time than that. Then it's a recognized thing that your body will save up ailments for the beginning of the holidays - loads of teachers tell you they collapsed into bed as soon as term finished, and by the time they were better, it was about time to start to think about going back.

About feeling fulfilled - many teachers do. I did, for long stretches of time. But there isn't a non-stop glow of satisfaction, and you do have to balance in the frustrations and the knocks which inevitably come (much like the ones you're talking about in your present job). Then, some parents blame you for the ills of the world, governments want to give you responsibility for putting right the ills of the world, and some pupils think you're public enemy number one and act accordingly. I say being a teacher is like being a ladder - people tread on you on their way up, and there aren't many who turn back and tell you they appreciate the fact that you were there. Any satisfaction you find will pretty much all come from inside you, not from external feedback.

Wishing you all the best, Neil. Just check it out to be sure it's what you're looking for, before you make such a big change.

[Georgebulldog]

Great post & something I could have written a while back now. I missed my brothers wedding & look back at the photos & know it's nothing I can ever change but have to try & not feel any guilt so know where you are coming from there. Also after being here a while I also started thinking maybe Oz might be a bet better, better weather & shopping I think is quite a draw, I've now put this down to just making such a big move here makes a move to Oz feel like a small step, just a move down the road if I were still in the UK. After being unable to sell our house I feel finally settled & know I am happy here & see this as long term but I'm not sure when that changed for me. I see where your coming from on the holidays too. Holidays have allways been a big thing for me & like you say there's no point leaving the country when you have the weather so makes it more expensive to get away in the winter with not so many options either.
Anyway thanks for a really good read, it's good to know there are others out there that go through these thoughts too