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Thread: Feeling very sad

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
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    Unhappy Feeling very sad

    Hi all

    Just wanted to log on for some warmth and love!! My Nan died last night and I am feeling more than a bit lost, struggling to cope with the emptiness and worry about the loss of the rest of my family being close so very soon. Of course I'm still in shock but have felt a bit better reading the posts on here, it is so wonderful to hear the support and generosity you all give to each other.

    Anyway I feel I have to keep busy so I'm going to go and clean the tent

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2008
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    I'm so sorry, SC! All my condolences to you and your family on this sad day, and many many (((hugs))) to you across the planet. I was 6,000 miles away from my Granny when she was diagnosed with a massive pancreatic cancer, so it was nice to be able to get back (twice, the second time was already booked) to see her before she passed away.

    Yes, it can be rough being away from family when this kind of thing happens, but just keep your savings together to ensure that you'll have no trouble getting back with 24 hours' notice.

    All my condolences to you, female grandparents are something special to their granddaughters. I lost both of mine over a decade ago and I still miss them and love the memories with them, and I hope the same will be true of you. The pain will pass, given time.

    And the tent can wait.

    xxx

  3. #3
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    Sep 2008
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    Wellington, NZ
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    What a grievous loss for you, SC. My sincere condolences and may you remember her always with the greatest love and thankfulness. (((Hugs to you))))

  4. #4
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    So sorry for you. (((()))) Of course it's a sad time - a death is a shock, even when it has to be partly expected because someone is elderly (even without any particular illness). There is a grieving process that becomes familiar when, as happens going through life, you have lived through several bereavements. At least when you know it's a natural progression, you come to realize that life goes on, and you DO get to feel better after the gloom of the early stages. There will be flashes of good feeling quite soon, even in the midst of the pain, and that's fine. All your memories of time spent with your grandmother are part of you, and you won't ever lose them. You'll remember her with love whenever you realize you're quoting something she would have said, or you pass on knowledge or a skill you learnt from her.

    And don't forget that, wherever you go, other people are around you who also love friends and family, so you'll always meet with understanding if you've had a death to cope with. I remember a lovely woman who comforted me in a shop - I caught sight of something that reminded me of my late grandfather, and unexpectedly started to cry. I find that if tears come, it's better not to try to hold them back, as this (physically) hurts more, btw.

    Thinking of you. It's part of being human. This that we feel at a death is the payment for the joy the person has given over a much longer time. And don't forget, it's your pain, feeling the gap where your grandmother was - nothing can hurt her any more, and she would be wanting your good. ((()))

  5. #5
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    Thanks to all of you, the tent is actually helping!! It's hard to notice the tears when you are up to your neck in water I am just glad that I had lots of time to see her, it feels selfish to be glad that it happened now and not in 3 months when I would have felt even worse, but also I know that she is at peace now. Just need to keep breathing and smiling in between crying xx

  6. #6
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    Sorry for your loss scarycat. Your Nan is in God's hands now. Don't feel selfish for being glad that she died while you were still there. I'm sure she was glad to have you with her. I agree with you, staying busy is good in difficult times. I'll bet your tent is cleaner than it has ever been.

  7. #7
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    Oct 2009
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    Whangamata - Coromandel NZ
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    Hugz

  8. #8
    Manks's Avatar
    Manks is offline Serial procrastinator and general busybody
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    So sorry for your loss I can only send you virtual hugs from across the miles ((()))

    Like M-squared, I was across the Atlantic when my Gran died. Luckily I'd had the chance to see her a couple of weeks before but it is scant consolation. Be thankful, in some way, that it has happened now and not after your move. My husband's Gran died literally 4 weeks before we moved here, and I'm relieved to an extent. It would have been much harder for him had it happened now.

  9. #9
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    Cornwall-WLG NZ-Cornwall-Auckl
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    must be a time for it,

    We returned to the UK in Jan my favourite Aunt was diagnosed with a brain tumor in May which was a shock as this was exactly what we lost my mum to i managed in the 6 months we were in the Uk to see her twice upon returning to NZ I knew she would not likely last beyond Christmas but this week I had the dreaded phone call I am so glad I managed to see her and take my son as well. its still hard not being able to do anything being the distance my Uncle is not a great talker on the phone and has asked for space which is understandable really.
    We have been back 10 weeks so far we have missed a christening of my youngest nephew and a funeral my SIL is pregnant after years of thinking she could not have children so we will miss the birth and excitiemnt around that but NZ is where i want to be does not make ist easier though

  10. #10
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    Its better for you and your immediate family that this happened now and not after you had left. lots of cyber hugs take care

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