6 weeks in and feeling very unsettled

[benandclare]

Has anyone come over and left a child at uni if so how did they and you cope?

We did, well my DD is at uni on last year of her Masters and both Clare's children and 2 grandchildren are back in the UK. Her son Sam, lived with us for about a year, here, but has now gone back to UK to be with GF he meet on trip over there , but that's another story

People sickness is terribly hard at times , but with Skype it does become less. hang on in there

[Sam B]

I was very unsettled at first, if you look back through my old threads, my 3 month post was the peak of my feelings. I was all over the place at 6 weeks, hated the rental, missed my stuff, found everyone strange. Things turned for the better when we bought a house here.

[victoria24]

Oh, come on, eassae - let's stick to trying to help the OP on this thread. Read what I said (which was NOT that everything is good, but instead to look at the good one can find), rather than reading INTO what I said, then disagreeing with what YOU put yourself.

support for a mod from this guy

[eassae]

support for a mod from this guy

I appreciate how JandM scolds me like a mother—it's sweet

[whakapapa]

I appreciate how JandM scolds me like a mother—it's sweet

ROFL you discerningly light the fuse....... JandM is right, there is always a light, some of us choose not to find it. Our eyes are open when it suits us to see. There is a lot of good in NZ, but the shock of OP finding herself in a new country plus some family and minus others, realising that a lot has been given up might overshadow what there is to see. You are a real quandry Essae, I'm still not sure if your jesting after the fact surmounts to insecurity or just that you don't want to get involved in a debate. That said I have found a lot of value in most of your posts, whether I agree or disagree.

Bernie, give it time because in time your DD may change her mind and if you give off the vibes that this is awful when she comes over you might lose the chance to reunite your family. (((((hugs))))) it's difficult, you imagined being here with your whole family and that's been changed. It doesn't mean it can't be. Good Luck!

[moz]

I was very unsettled at first, if you look back through my old threads, my 3 month post was the peak of my feelings. I was all over the place at 6 weeks, hated the rental, missed my stuff, found everyone strange. Things turned for the better when we bought a house here.

This was me exactly, I hated everyone and everything the first 3 or 4 months!

[ralf-nz]

One thing my OH said and I agree with is that had the roles been reversed and any of the kids had wanted to study abroad or take a job overseas, we would have been overjoyed for them and fully supported them. Our situation is just reversed.

I have the same attitude as your OH; however it seems a bit difficult especially for my wife to see t this way. (Or is it a gender "thing"?)

[Ana&Steve]

Bernie, so sorry to hear how hard it's been. It's not at all unusual to feel the way you do.
Our friends planned the move to NZ for two years; right after they got PR they found out she was pregnant but they decided to go anyway. They told us they got a sinking feeling as soon as they landed and feared they made a mistake. They were as prepared as they could be and had friends and family to support them in NZ but culture shock and homesickness laid heavily on them. They stuck it out for a year over there before coming back to the States. They don't regret the move, though they are happy to be back. This is not to say there weren't great times while they were there; they still love NZ but decided that it wasn't their time to live there yet.
Give the move time to settle, don't make any big decisions until the initial upheaval is past. You can always decide in a year to go back but after all your hard work it's worth it to see what NZ can really offer you once the dust settles. Also, don't be afraid to feel sad and have a good cry. Culture shock and homesickness are very real conditions, give them time to run their course.
All the best for the future

[magcats]

I just wish you peace of mind as you make choices and continue your life in whatever direction it takes you.

[JandM]

It occurred to me that some of the descriptions here may be familiar, and it may help to see that what you're feeling isn't only personal to you. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homesickness