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Thread: Anyone else feel like I do?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
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    UK
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    Default Anyone else feel like I do?

    My husband and I have talked about a possible move to NZ, he is a GP and we have 3 young children (twins age 3 and another age 18 months). Whenever I think about it, at times I feel excited but most of the time it is eating away at me, making me feel quite terrified, but when I decided to abandon it all, I get a bit disappointed. I am just not sure if I'm ready to say goodbye to my life here in the UK and feel it is such a big move, packing up everything and just going. I have read some testomonies and know that no one regrets it and say it is a great move etc, but was just wondering if anyone felt the way I do, just totally scared by it all?

    Any comments appreciated! Thanks,

    Gingerale

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
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    Auckland
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    Initial thoughts are mostly due to fear (and what if's), give some time and you will see clarity coming up. We didn't have second thoughts about moving after deciding about NZ and regardless of how long & complicated the process turned out for us.

    The ratio of people loving Vs leaving NZ speaks for itself (I think!). The best thing that helped us was to brainstorm about the idea, pros & cons, practical situations and of'course the inner call.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    Sheffield > Tauranga
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    I would say that how you are feeling is completely normal, why wouldn't you feel scared about a leap into the unknown?
    Infact I felt pretty much exactly how you do. It took me ages to say 'when' we move instead of 'if' we move.
    Have you visited NZ before? We did for 3 weeks, I certainly didn't come away loving it but than again I didn't hate it either.
    Anyway to end on a positive note we've been here now for 2 years and I can honestly say that I am very happy with the decision we made.
    It worked for our family, unfortunately you won't know how you'll cope until you take that leap.
    Last edited by janrzm; 19th January 2011 at 10:43 AM.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Melbourne
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    It's perfectly normal to feel scared, I think we all did, I know I did! As janrnz said, it is a big leap into the unknown, you're leaving everything behind that you know to start all over again on the other side of the world. That's huge and you're entitled to feel terrified!
    I have a positive note too: we left Holland 5 years ago and for us it worked out perfectly. We love it here and wouldn't want to go back.
    Good luck!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Waikato
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    Honestly? I think you have to want it a whole lot more than getting at times excited when you think about it and a bit disappointed when you think about giving up on it. I'm not intending to sound harsh, just practical. It's easy to get swept up in the romance of emigrating, particularly when your kids are young and life is quite a slog. What is it you hope to achieve from the move? Have you considered coming for a year as a life experience? That would give you something exciting and fresh and a taste of NZ without the huge dilemma and upheaval. Your kids are still young and would have a blast at kindie and playcentre here and you could "suck it and see" with no pressure.

    Just my two cents worth!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
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    NZ to US to NZ. Opua
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    For years I've debated whether or not I should leave the US (and my son and 3 grandkiddos) to return to NZ. Suddenly, what I needed to do was as clear as a bell - and as janrzm said, it became 'when I go' not 'if'.

    Also, if you go to NZ - spend a few years - decide it's not for you and return to the UK, what have you lost? A bit of money perhaps, but what you will have experienced in that time will be worth the cost!

    At the end of my life, I would rather regret doing something than not doing it.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Waikato
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dell View Post
    Also, if you go to NZ - spend a few years - decide it's not for you and return to the UK, what have you lost? A bit of money perhaps, but what you will have experienced in that time will be worth the cost!
    Depends whether the cost includes the closeness of family, which is a major reason why people return. We've got a few old timers on this forum who underestimated what the severing of physical ties to family and friends would feel like and have returned after some very unhappy times in NZ. Often people say "what have you got to lose?" about emigrating. Well, four years in and having met many, many expats at various stages of the journey and listened to many sorry tales of woe I can only conclude that what a potential expat possibly stands to lose are life savings, career, family, friends and health.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    Essex, UK
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dell View Post
    Also, if you go to NZ - spend a few years - decide it's not for you and return to the UK, what have you lost?
    Personally, I doubt we could buy in London again. So we have actually lost the chance to go back to where we left off, a fact I find very hard to come to terms with (I know I have to, but am not finding it easy).

    I know of other people as well who won't be able to get to the same/similar standard or place in life again, and that can potentially be quite a bit to lose.

    Not trying to make this scarier, but I think the losses can be quite real.

    Daniela

  9. #9
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    Aug 2009
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    Great White North, Canuckistan
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    I guess that if you have an itch, you gotta scratch it! If you don't, chances are it won't go away. We moved countries before and were swung between hope and despair. So again... It is exciting and scary at the same time. Letting go of have's and not knowing what you will replace it with is an extreme and stressful exercise.

    Life is like a box of chocolates indeed.. but you wont get to taste different flavors if you don't open it.

    Wishing you all the best.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
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    NZ to US to NZ. Opua
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    Life is like a box of chocolates indeed.. but you wont get to taste different flavors if you don't open it.


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