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Thread: billy no mates right now. - )

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Manchester and now Tauranga
    Posts
    170

    Default billy no mates right now. - )

    Hi there,

    I was just wondering how do people get to know other people here in NZ. I have been here for 10months and haven't met anyone yet. The thing is I am not a sporty person, I don't have small kids, I am not a stick in the mud and i do enjoy socializing.

    Does anyone on the forum meet up in Tauranga?
    I do think if I was involved in certain activities it would be easier, but I am not so therefore it's very hard. I miss having the option to go out with friends etc.
    Do they have social clubs here, i.e labour clubs etc?
    If anyone knows of any near Tauranga town then let me know. Or better still if anyone is in the same boat let me know.
    Helen

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    35,838

    Default

    You say you're not involved in certain activities. To meet people so as to get to know them, I think you're going to need to GET involved in some activities or other. Try asking in the local library what clubs and societies there are local to you, that you could go and check out. I'll bet there's a local RSA - yes, there is http://www.tgarsa.co.nz/ - and the reason I thought of that is that I know the one local to my family in Auckland has a very active women's section with all sorts of interests, and just socializing. But before you emigrated, you must have some hobbies? charities you worked for? things you were a fan of? - go looking for places you can follow up on them, and like-minded people will probably be there.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Manchester and now Tauranga
    Posts
    170

    Default

    To be honest, no I didn't. I had my own business and worked 12hour shifts and I didn't really have time for anything else really. yeah I know, sad. I do enjoy football, and my 19yr old has just joined a team. I don't know what else, I am not a hugely talented person.
    I just don't know where to start, or what to try. I have never really thought about it until now. When I lived in Manchester, my friend and I would go for meals out, the cinema etc. That was the gist of it really.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    35,838

    Default

    Okay, then try the RSA, or anything that you happen to notice on the list at the library, or on fliers around your area. People aren't going to come to your door asking to be your friend. You have to get out there to have anybody notice that you might be a nice person to know. (I know there's a nervous reaction to the thought of taking the first step, but this is what I've always done whenever we moved house, and it works.)

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Ōtepoti, Aotearoa
    Posts
    2,736

    Default

    Isn't there any department or organisation in Tauranga offering assistance for people relocating and especially immigrating there? I would have thought that in a town of that size there is something.

    As you are mentioning meals and cinema: What about film clubs of cooking courses? Just for a start and progressing from there!

    Or you could do some volunteering (papers here often look for people) or doing something football related.
    Last edited by ralf-nz; 8th May 2011 at 09:09 AM.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Manchester > Now Tauranga
    Posts
    4,393

    Default

    Hi.
    As J&M says, then the best thing is through clubs, societies, etc. I know what you mean about it all being work in Manchester, and I guess I could count on one hand the times in the last 2 years we did anything 'social'. Work, then hide at home. It probably helped when I got here that I was on my own as it forced my hand a little to get out and join the cycling club, something I'd done, but never been part of a club before in the UK. I was going to join the photography club, but it clashed. Since Jane's arrived then I've ridden with the cycling club, but we have joined the sea kayaking club, something that we'd never done before. In all the clubs then there's a real mix of people from young kids, mid lifers like us and through to the retired starting something for the first time. And there's a real social mixing between all the people there.
    I'm pretty sure there are several dining clubs too - check the local free papers (we seems to get 3 a week) and find something there. Sit down, find 3 that you think may interest you, got to a meeting or two of each and then work out if you want to stick with any of them.

    There's a big club/society hall on Cameron Road , cnr with 14th I think next to foodtown. Not been there, but may be worth seeing if they have some listings.

    In terms of expat meets then there was one last year in Grindz, but personally it wasn't something that I would have gone back to. Mostly turned out to be expat exposed people. I've tried to stay out of the expat meets as I'm not sure that's the easiest way to 'integrate'.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Blenheim
    Posts
    1,544

    Default

    Helen, it sounds like you are on your own with your son? Or is your partner/ husband with you as well, so you could find something which might be of interest for both of you?
    When we came to New Zealand I realised that I was the only one of the family not going out to meet people, because I did not work/ study/ go to school. Our kids were all past primary school age, so I did not really meet anyone through them.

    I looked up what kind of volunteer work was on offer and started helping out at the school library. I know that is not so easy when you have a job, but I am sure that there are plenty of clubs or club- like activities around and you might be surprised what interest you could discover when you join one or more of them!

    So- I definitely second what JandM and Duncan suggested!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    139

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    Quote Originally Posted by pitkennedy View Post
    Hi there,

    I was just wondering how do people get to know other people here in NZ. I have been here for 10months and haven't met anyone yet. The thing is I am not a sporty person, I don't have small kids, I am not a stick in the mud and i do enjoy socializing.

    Does anyone on the forum meet up in Tauranga?
    I do think if I was involved in certain activities it would be easier, but I am not so therefore it's very hard. I miss having the option to go out with friends etc.
    Do they have social clubs here, i.e labour clubs etc?
    If anyone knows of any near Tauranga town then let me know. Or better still if anyone is in the same boat let me know.
    Helen
    Hi Helen,

    I know how you feel, it really is hard, I was only in Nz for the amount of time you are there now and had to go home (hopefully temporarily!), so I do understand..

    I'm not really into sports either, I had one friend already living in Nz, and one of my very best Kiwi friends lived in Oz for a long time moved to Nz 6 months before me, so I didn't know anyone else..I wasn't a member of this forum then so didn't get to know anyone, but am also a member of another forum, and had met a couple of lovely people through there who I still keep in touch with...I also met a beautiful friend from Liverpool, England through trade me, I bought her bike for my daughter!

    I'm sure I would have made more solid friendships if I had been there longer, I'm keeping in touch and hoping they all stay there if I return in 2013!

    Take care and good luck..

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    NZ
    Posts
    192

    Default

    How about paying your local church a visit? We found lots of friendly people, invitations to homes and a generally warm welcome.

    We felt under no pressure of a religious nature, nor were we "preached at" or pressurised in any way.

    It does depend on the individual church but you could try several.

    Good Luck

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Chch, NZ
    Posts
    209

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by pitkennedy View Post
    Hi there,

    I was just wondering how do people get to know other people here in NZ. I have been here for 10months and haven't met anyone yet. The thing is I am not a sporty person, I don't have small kids, I am not a stick in the mud and i do enjoy socializing.
    When I moved to London to live with my then partner I ended up with a set of friends who were all couples. When we decided to split, I ended up with no one I really knew who would want to go out and about. I put an ad on Gumtree and invited 8 people around for Sunday Lunch (it was a fair mix) and I'm still friends with 5 of them! I'm not sure that Gumtree still does the friends thing but I just searched for meets on Facebook and there are a fair few social gatherings around your area.

    http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=...41962379201221

    http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=62221445066

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/ZUMBA-...a/272993987839

    I could go on and on and on..........I usually do!!

    Good luck finding something!

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