Two years in

[stu & amanda]

Crikey two years already, well two years and a bit actually.
I’ve got to admit I hardly post anything on the forum any more but know that when we were back in the UK desperate for information , the one year, two year etc were the posts I always loved to read, so I thought I‘d better write one.

When I wrote our one year post the main cause for concern for us was trying to fill the hole that had been left by completing the roller coaster ride of emigrating. I think the hole is being filled little by little but we still feel far from settled. We have no desire to go running, or probably flying back to the UK, but we don’t feel as if we are going to be here for ever, it still feels kind of temporary. Is it worth planting a lemon tree? We’ll not get the lemons. It’s very strange. If we wrote down a list of everything we wanted, we’d probably tick off most of the list. But are we happy? No. Are we unhappy? No.
It’s kind of like we’re waiting for it all to click into place then life will be wonderful.

Anyway here are a few musings/ grumbles.

Driving.
I’ve always loved driving but over here it’s a bit boring. The roads tend to be quite fast and quiet out of town, so everyone trundles around at about 100 - 110 kph, fair enough but a bit boring, you don’t catch them up and they don’t catch you. There’s no edging out behind a wagon to see if the road’s clear then knocking it into third and flooring it. Mainly because if you catch up a wagon it’s probably a Fonterra wagon and it will turn off before you get chance and that you’re probably driving an automatic - might be tiptronic but it’s not the same. There are some great minor roads, we live on one, but the main highways are a drag.

The weather.
Definitely colder than we thought. I remember clearing the car out back home before we sold it and gleefully throwing away the ice scraper - won’t be needing that I thought. Wrong. And I can’t buy a decent one over here, wish I’d kept it, and it had Bart Simpson on it.
On the flip side I often call at Bunnings on the way home and chuck something in the back of the ute without thinking if it might rain. I remember if I was going to Wickes and driving back with something on the roof, I’d be checking the weather forecast, looking at the sky, crossing my fingers and driving as fast as I could to get home before it chucked it down.
Not as warm or balmy in the evenings as I thought it would be either, but we do live in Rotorua.

Rotorua
A year ago I would have recommended Rotorua to anyone thinking of living here, now... maybe not. It’s a great location, the lakes are beautiful, there’s everything you may need and more. There are loads of plus points, but it’s just a bit rough around town. It’s so noticeable whenever we go to another town and wander around, you get home and think, mmmm it’s a bit rough Rotorua.

Work
They work more hours over here. I’ve worked a 37 hour week for twenty years and now I’m back up to 40 plus and it catches up with you. We seem to be a lot more tired than we used to be. When we first arrived in NZ we laughed as we watched everyone turn off their lights and go to bed around nine or tennish, when we went to bed at eleven it was like we were the last people to go to bed in the city. Now we’re often in bed for nine, the last time I went to bed at nine in the UK I was still wearing pyjamas with teddy bears on them.

DIY
We’ve renovated a couple of houses in the UK and thought we’d do the same here. Crikey it’s hard work as so many things seem different, yes we wanted different that’s why we came here, but in certain instances you want familiar and DIY seems to be one of them. And the cost of some items is unreal, you pick up a plumbing fitting look at the price and put it back, only to realise that unless you can knock up a bath waste trap in your shed you’ll have to buy it. God I miss Screwfix.

We didn’t come all this way...
It seems quite easy to get into the habit of thinking “I didn’t come all this way to_____”. You can fill in the blank with anything, and in the middle of winter when it’s cold and dark it’s easy to fill the blank with the most trivial things, right down to dropping your keys or stubbing your toe. But on days like today when it’s sunny and spring is a springing you remember why you came and you’re glad you did.

[JandM]

Thanks for that - very honest and informative.

Can I ask, do BOTH of you feel this way?

And have you things in mind that you might do to get nearer to your expectations? I don't know what, but as one for instance, looking into relocating to somewhere else in NZ, if other cities seem better than Rotorua?

[Living Life]

WOW - thanks for the update after two years!!

Not sure what to say to be honest - reading what your saying about driving, I would take what your saying anytime of the day as over here in the UK, its getting worse, it feels like no one has any comman courtesy and everyone is very rushed all the time!! One of the reasons we want to move to NZ is the laid back lifestyle!!

What JandM said, is it worth looking into re-locating and trying somewhere else??

Try remembering why you left UK - its not getting any better here but saying that its home no matter wherever you are or how well you settle somewhere else!!

Hope you find what makes you feel happy and settled!! Thanks for some honest feedback about what your experiencing!!

[tk1]

I was talking on skype recently to a couple who had moved to NZ 4 years ago. For them the first 2 years they described an unsettled feeling in that things were just different enough that they never could really feel comfortable even though there was no "problem." But after those first 2 years these subtle differences became the new normal and NZ finally felt like home.

I'm sure it is different for every person, and probably some people never feel settled while others feel at home from day one. But I definitely can see how the small day to day differences in things like driving, social interactions, climate and minor cultural differences can make it hard to every fully relax and lead to a general sense of unease. Something less than "culture shock" but enough to keep things from feeling like home.

[WANZLittles]

very good post, I worry that we will feel the same way, But we have moved several times in our 17 years of marriage and we have always said it takes about two years for some place to feel normal, to establish relationships and so forth.

[RollsRoyce]

Very well expressed post S&A.

It’s kind of like we’re waiting for it all to click into place then life will be wonderful.

I'm going to sound like an old fogie, but with time you can become anesthetised to life such that nothing feels wondrous like it did when you were a kid. After the obsession of getting to NZ I found myself staring at the beautiful views and feeling numb. Mrs RR, who still has that child like wonder, booked two grabaseats down to Queenstown and we messed around like teenagers for a weekend. Did the soul a whole lot of good.

What I'm saying is catch yourself if you're being too serious or introspective. Plant that lemon tree and delight in the fact that someone someday will enjoy those lemons.

RR

[Kanga]

What an honest post- I think lots of people will relate to it, rep given. I agree with RR, plant your lemon tree and live as if you plan to always be here (without thinking about always being here) and see what comes in another year or so.

If there's one thing that has really surprised me in the whole emigrating thing, it's how long it takes and how protracted the settling process is.

I couldn't help but laugh at your "we didn't come here for _____" .... I wish I couldn't relate!

[Singapura Cat]

Just curious, looking at the europe situation now from newspapers and internet, is it better to stay put in NZ? Since,NZ has the trade deal with China and has a lower currency than UK. Also, wonder how much is NZ economy is pegged to the US. Is your hometown or industry is affected?

[KiwiChar]

Plant the lemon tree!
Enjoy the experience of planting it, and watching it grow.
You may be there to see fruit or maybe not?
Enjoy the present.
Perhaps a great metaphor for alot of things in life.
Thanks for sparking that reminder for me :-)

[stu & amanda]

Hey J and M. Yes we both feel the same way and have thought of relocating but we are going to give it more time here as we love our house and really wouldn’t want to move just yet.
And everyone else - We did buy a lemon tree last year and this year it has had two lemons on it. But I can tell you one thing, we didn’t come all this way to have a lemon tree with only two bloody lemons on it.