After FIVE years...
It's five years today since we first arrived to make NZ home!
Before we emigrated (January 2007) I thought that five years was a significant amount of time overseas and that by then one would be settled and integrated, job done. How very naive I was!
Emigrating
A totally incredible experience! The process of turning a precious dream into a reality- all that paperwork, wondering, list making, fretting, researching, the packing up and cleaning up and the awful farewells. We had our initial departure date delayed and ended up leaving Blighty at the beginning of January after a last family Christmas hosted by us where, ironically, I woke up Christmas morning vomiting with the first symptoms of flu. I don’t remember that Christmas- we have photos of me awake on the couch but I let the kids open all the gifts and I remember my family just looking glum. A few days later and my husband and kids went down with it and I was by then the least ill cleaning the rental was left to me so my last couple of days were blighted by cleaning skirting boards while crying because of aching limbs. Thankfully we had planned a two week holiday in Western Australia en route during which time I slowly got back to 90%.
When we left Britain my mum was ill with the flu, which actually made her unwell for over three months and I don’t think she remembers us saying goodbye. I remember saying good bye to my Dad though stood on his drive under a grey sky. It’s my relationship with him that has suffered the most from emigrating as I think it’s fair to say we have pretty much broken his heart and I am filled with guilt and grief whenever I think of him standing there waving us goodbye, wishing us all the best as we took his grandchildren to the other side of the world to live.
Arriving in Hawkes Bay was a bit of a shock after two weeks in beautiful WA and I confess to sobbing in Perth’s departure lounge and then again on Ocean Beach, which to me compared very unfavourably with where we had just been. But that was short-lived and just part of the shock and process of emigrating. The first phase of settling- arriving, getting set up and getting to grips with life in a new country- went relatively smoothly. I liked the town we lived in, I liked the area, loved the schools and general facilities and amenities. I liked the lack of traffic and way of life of ‘the Bay’. We arrived in mid-summer and I adored the length of the summer and then also enjoyed the winter. It’s a very near perfect climate in Hawkes Bay, as anyone who lives there will surely smugly agree!
The first two years
The real roller coaster begins! We only really have ourselves to blame for the worst of the first two years and the wonderful people we met and some good fortune for the best. Our kids had two years involved in a small rural community that opened its arms to us and we very much enjoyed the experience. We did not enjoy building a house as that very quickly became a project that spiralled out of control in every direction. After 18 months we made a visit to the UK for a family wedding and although we knew we were not going to be able to remain in the house we had built and were looking for somewhere else to live, we decided against moving back to the UK then. In retrospect I often wonder if this was a mistake. I don’t know, but I do know that I wish we had come to NZ with plans to enjoy two years here and then return, but it is too late now for many reasons.
Hopping the ditch (twice)
It seemed perfectly logical at the time as there was a job offer with more money and the temptation of family, plus my love affair with Australia to seal the deal. I had always wanted to live in Australia, though my husband has always been totally underwhelmed by the place so NZ was a good compromise as I loved here too.
As it was Australia was neither the right time nor the right place (in terms of area we moved to) and we fairly quickly returned to NZ choosing Cambridge because of its proximity to a larger city while still feeling like a small town. We also quite liked the idea of living up this end of the island to be close to family in Tauranga and the cities of Auckland, Tauranga and Hamilton.
I made some posts comparing our experiences of NZ and Australia: http://www.enz.org/forum/showthread....ng-NSW-with-NZ
The first couple of years sound fairly chaotic and in parts they were but there were also many, many good times, lots of visitors and exploring, and the kids had the experience of two terms in a beachside Australian school, making friends they are still in contact with now and that we see on our annual trip to Oz to see the rellies. They are close to each other and to us and made the most of their experiences, particularly as we kept things upbeat and approached the changes in the spirit of a shared adventure. I wouldn’t have chosen to have moved them as much as they did, but on the other hand it seems not to have damaged them and they both describe the places we’ve lived with fondness and excitement. The older one wryly reminds me how many schools she’s attended but I guess at fourteen you need some ammunition to fire at your parents.
I often describe Cambridge as an expat’s wet dream. The worst thing about Cambridge, and this is best mentioned right from the outset, is that it’s at least an hour to the sea. Waikato people tend to refer to either Raglan or Waihi as ‘the beach’, but both are a bit over an hour to drive to from here. If you can live with that (I know many people are not too bothered about living by the sea and others come from very land locked areas and consider an hour a small drive) Cambridge has just about everything else going for it that expats with families seem to be looking for, unless the culture of a large urban centre is important. Cambridge is leafy and beautiful, safe and quiet with a range of good schools, decent shopping (mix of mitre ten, Countdown et al on the industrial patch and then boutique/arts/independent shopping in the pretty town centre), leisure facilities, clubs and activities. Karapiro lake is a short hop, as is Pirongia mountain and in winter the ski fields are doable for a day trip. Property here is reasonable for what you get (imo) and there’s no doubt we have a good life here.
What I love and what I don’t love
I love day to day life here- the lower population density (probably this only applies outside of Auckland etc) affords a more leisurely relaxed pace. Our town is full of green spaces that are well tended and dog mess free. On hot days we go to the 50m heated outdoor pool and it seems to never be crowded. We can park outside the shops for free and enjoy a coffee sitting out watching the world go by. All the schools I’ve been involved in have had buildings and green space to utterly shame the ones I knew in the UK and although it has its faults and flaws, on the whole I am much happier with the schooling system here and it is serving us well. I love the housing here and the long hot summers (barring this one), even though I am not crazy about the weather in the Waikato as it tends to be humid in summer and damp in winter. I think I’m spoiled from living in Hawkes Bay though because expats who have only lived here think I am mad when I complain about humidity; in general the weather here is significantly better than the UK and I am very glad to see the back of the endless grey, low skies. I love the night sky and the cicadas in summer.
I don’t love some of the commonly accepted attitudes that seem, to me, to come from a different era. I don’t love how messed up Māori- pakeha relations are when the surface is scratched. I don’t love the intensity of the UV- it frightens me. I don’t love the cost of groceries and clothes and paint (I’m not going to say the cost of living because that would include all aspects of living and leisure activities and sports here are cheaper to be involved with, the great outdoors is cheaper to access- no parking at the beach, cheap huts in NPs, etc). I don’t love the lack of professionalism in some fields.
My children are in part united and part divided in how they feel about where we live- they both like it now and enjoy their lives here enormously but the older one is four years from university and is quite determined she is going to Australia for uni. Her UK family are trying to persuade her to come to Britain but with the cost of university there I feel reasonably confident she won’t make that choice. The younger one was just 3 when we moved here and self-identifies as a Kiwi and has had all her pre-school and schooling years in NZ and has a deep love of NZ and belief there is nowhere better. I like that Kiwi kids love NZ so much and I am happy she feels that way.
Do I see myself still here in a year? Yes. Do I see myself making old bones here? No, I don't think so. I'm fairly sure the money, climate, opportunities and family (as well as all the things I love about Oz- see posts in above link) available to us in Australia will tempt us again at some point in the future, but not yet.
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Originally Posted by kiwieagle
