K.i.s.s.

[newarrival]

It's way older than that.

Well, that's the one where I first heard it .

[JandM]

They nicked it. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/KISS_principle

[Living Life]

They nicked it.

[kiwieagle]

The discussion on 'assimilation' in above posts seem to presume that all native Kiwis are the same - which they aren't!

I personally think assimilation is okay - and probably - required as long as it does not lead to the negation of one's background. Assimilating here in NZ is - of course - much easier if you had previously similar experiences either in your home country or beyond.

One possible indicator of assimilation might be the friends you have here. Are they from compatriots, other immigrants or Kiwis.

I don't see any posts that presume all native Kiwis are the same.

I object to the tsk tsk factor of some in this forum when someone speaks negatively about NZ. I'm not talking about when someone objectively argues a point about a specific topic. I'm talking about the contrarian personal assumptions that some people make when someone vents on this forum about something they see as a genuine problem in NZ or NZ society. I object to the idea that pointing out a difficulty to be faced in NZ means that the person noting something is trying to change it into their homeland. I object to the question posed, "Then why did you move here?" as a valid response to anyone's complaints.

I object to the idea that immigrants can't be themselves. It's a challenge. It's a challenge that is easier when people are free to share those difficulties with others that might have the same perspective as an outsider. Telling someone they could avoid all this by KISS is ridiculously reductive in my mind. The OP stated that when immigrants complain it makes it harder for other immigrants. I think that is asking people to ignore their difficulties and pretend they don't exist.

My sister-in-law is also American and when we get together we compare notes, have a good old kvetch and then keep on going, building our lives in NZ with a couple of "typical" NZ blokes. Perhaps it's an American thing. We like to talk stuff out. We don't keep it inside. We name it. We're not always right but we're not always wrong. So, to tell people to KISS, to assimilate, to deal with immigrating like a NZer would is not only reductive but quite impossible. I'm not going to pretend to be a Kiwi. I say this as someone who has spent a lot of time investigating kiwiana, cultural identities and the like to not only understand the nation I now live in but to understand my husband and his family. I have a deep investment in understanding the Kiwi perspective as do many people here. When people complain it isn't because we want to undo that but because we are trying to understand how we can be part of it, how we can make it better. Maybe it's a distinction without a difference but it's a fine line we all must navigate between being ourselves and being part of the culture we live in.

[ralf-nz]

I don't see any posts that presume all native Kiwis are the same.

Expressions like the local crowd or culture were used afore; I personally would be inclined to use the plural instead of the singular.

[Bozeman]

We seem to be falling into the "one extreme or the other" trap. As an immigrant, you should be able to comment on what's wrong and what could be better about New Zealand - just like anyone else. The fact of the matter is, however, that you - as an immigrant - will be held to a different standard. Complain too much and you will be labeled a whinging (fill in the blank). And "too much", in this case may very well be less than the "locals" complain. Is that fair? No. Tough. Do you want to get along or not? Is serving a sense of self-rightousness worth the price? This is a world of compromise. In the right time and place and with the right people, anything is OK. Otherwise, you're only hurting yourself. This is not New Zealand specific. The same goes, I reckon, anywhere you can imagine.

[catt]

Not sure Kanga got her answer: Keep It Simple Stupid