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Thread: 6 weeks in, and a wee bit lonely

  1. #11
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    Lots of good suggestions. When I moved to London I only knew my ex! So I joined things I was interested in - specifically I joined a local Amnesty Group and did some evening classes in creative writing. I made tons of friends through both, especially Amnesty - in fact that's where I met my fiancee! I am a big fan of groups and classes as even if it takes a while to make friends that you see outside of them it gives you things to do in your leisure time which helps you not feel quite so lonely. Walking clubs are another that are popular around London as ways to make friends, a day of tramping in the lovely countryside around Christchurch and you're bound to find people you share things in common with and have lots of time to talk to people - I don't actually know if there is a walking club though. Also, are there any community volunteering groups still doing eathquake clear-up - a good way to show investment in your new community and meet people. Do persevere though, it takes time to build up friendships.

  2. #12
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    Jan 2007
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    For someone in their 20s and 30s, generally most of those social activities like dancing, volunteer groups, etc. are of no real interest. You want to meet people in your similar age group because they can relate to things on the same maturity level - ie. the kinda of music you grew up with, movies you like, etc. But I won't put it down to age as the sole problem of not having a huge circle of friends. The other issue is that on average, houses (or apts) changes hands every 7 years which means it's really hard to get to know your neighbours. Maybe this is part of the culture as houses in NZ are often used as a $ making vehicle (when property prices rise, time to sell and upgrade).

    In my experience being in NZ, yes locals are friendly - but that's about it. Far from what i've been accustomed to in Canada where neighbourly friends would knock on your door at any time. Things here are somewhat more formal (ie. pre-arranged phone call before arrival). Also to make life long friends, it takes many years to figure out.

    Keep in mind, you're an outsider because you're from overseas. I've found this to be true mingling with my cousins (who were born raised in NZ) and their friends in that, there is a great level of clicky or quirkiness. By don't take my example, look at recent news about foreigners wanting to buy land in NZ (Crafar Farms)

  3. #13
    Manks's Avatar
    Manks is offline Serial procrastinator and general busybody
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    Quote Originally Posted by benandclare View Post
    Might be too old as in our 50's but give us a few weeks till our visitors have gone and we'd be up meeting for a coffee
    But very young at heart

  4. #14
    Manks's Avatar
    Manks is offline Serial procrastinator and general busybody
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    There are a lot of really good ideas here but it can be hard if you're even just a tiny bit shy (like me!). I've found the trick is to suggest coffee and a drink to anyone you think could be interesting or you would have things in common with. Some of our best friends we bumped into at a Te Papa event and just asked them out for a drink. We've been good friends since.

    And strangely, we've met a few people via Twitter! It sounds a bit sad I know, but you can strike up a "friendship" online first and then try to meet up. Actually, it sounds rather a lot like ENZ

  5. #15
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    I still don't feel as if I have really close friends, but I figure that is because I spend so long at work!! You have some good suggestions, and if feeling lonely and can cope with some aged people come and visit for a cuppa!

  6. #16
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    Have a look here: http://www.ccc.govt.nz/homeliving/in...axhavefun.aspx

    there are links to Community Groups, Sports Groups, Events in Christchurch etc.

    For me, joining a choir (my singing ability is still debatable!) and volunteering have been good ways to get out & meet people. I have also met some great friends via this forum.

    If you find your way passing through Blenheim would be happy to meet up for a coffee/drink (& just 'cause I'm not in my 20s doesn't mean I don't act like it some times!)

  7. #17
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    Sep 2011
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    Love all these suggestions and its even given us some more ideas on how to meet people!! We will no doubt post once over but we are up for anyone meeting for coffee!! Joining a choir sounds like fun and we've never tried tramping... things to maybe add to our list!!

  8. #18
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    Dec 2011
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    Hello again everyone!

    Thanks so much for all the replies! Don't get me wrong, I am in no way ruling out 'oldies'. In fact a few of my friends in the UK were older than me, as I am not interested in the typical going out and partying lifesytles of my peers.

    I have looked into some groups and things recently, and it is probably a good way of getting to know people. In the UK I was quite active, went to a church regular, and subsequent church events, sporting activities, walking groups and tennis. So I will maybe give all those things a go.

    I am keen to get myself into a fitness group or the gym, particularly when the winter comes, and I don't want to be outside jogging! Feel a lot better today, I've been away in Lake Tekapo this weekend (beautiful), almost reminds me of why I am doing this (to see the world). Part of me wonders however, whether I should have just travelled for a few months and went home, or done this! But I guess I am enhancing my career at the same time as travelling.

    Apologies for the mixed emotions ramble! I'd love to meet up with some of you ChCh folks.

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