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Thread: Going alone in 3 weeks, don't know anyone there, feeling anxious!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    7

    Default Going alone in 3 weeks, don't know anyone there, feeling anxious!

    I'm going it alone on a residency visa in the first week of April and I'm just very anxious. I'm a 47 y/o male RN coming from San Diego, California. It's been my dream but it's still really pushing my comfort zone
    because I don't know anyone there yet and I'm leaving friends/family and familiar thins behind. I also don't like flying, I am definitely
    bringing xanax and inderal with me.
    I don't know where I'll be living other than probably a hostel at first, and I don't have a job or a place to live lined up yet, but I don't need to worry about all of that
    right away. I'll probably just stay in AUK or Wellie and enjoy being there before I put myself into that. I wish I knew I had a soft landing in place but it doesn't
    feel like that at the moment. I've visited once and really like it there, but this is something else entirely!
    Thanks for any encouragement.
    ---Kalle

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    36,414

    Default

    Feeling anxious is an ENTIRELY natural reaction to what you're doing. Very best wishes for your first steps.

    To give yourself something to look forward to, I suggest researching interest groups for things you're interested in. For instance, Google the interest and 'Auckland' to see where there are people you'll be able to make contact with. If you like going to the gym, there are plenty of those around. For social gatherings with various interests where you can get to know people, you could check out the RSAs (basically an ex-servicemen's organization, but they each have a bar and food, and many have groups for sports, crafts, charity work, etc., depending on the local members' interests, and they're open to associate membership by anybody, families and all). http://www.rsa.org.nz/findrsa/index.cfm

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    San Francisco to Auckland
    Posts
    626

    Default

    Best of luck to you. It is totally natural to be nervous. Once you get a job lined up things will probably fall into place for you. Get out there and go to the cafes and pubs and strike up conversations with people that you may not normally do. Super 15 Rugby is on now, and that is always a conversation piece. If you enjoy tramping, there are tramping clubs around the different cities. I think there is a site called Meetup.com that you can check out different groups. Definitely go in with an open mind and try to get out of your comfort zone. When I have moved places where I didn't know anyone it was daunting initally, but I pushed myself to meet people. I am normally a shy person, but forced myself to start up conversations with people who seemed interesting. And it always paid off. This will be a wonderful adventure. Enjoy it.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    7

    Default

    Thanks for the encouragement, JandM and kiwihusker, and good advice!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Christchurch from Scotland
    Posts
    2,226

    Default

    One of the things that I have found is always arrange a time for something as well. I never seemed to meet up when it was a generic must go out sometime. Make a date and time.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Eastbourne
    Posts
    445

    Default

    I stayed in the BASE hostel on Darby Street for my week's recce in Auckland by myself. I think that's a great place to stay. It's very central, relatively cheap and there are always people to talk to. It's pretty basic but they have their own kitchen and internet cafe and people of all ages stay there. I felt very safe there.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Lower Hutt, NZ
    Posts
    251

    Default

    I don't know about Auckland, but here in Wellington you have a number of very active Meetup groups - I think you can join an activity any day of the week for free, and the people who attend these Meetups are people who enjoy meeting new people, so they'll make you feel right at home

    Just go to www.meetup.com and then search for groups wherever you want...

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