It's a difficult call, because unless you know someone's lifestyle and what you spend on, you can't really make a call on what are the essentials in life and what are the just 'nice to haves'. We're a single income family who have been since we first came back from NZ 9 years ago. As a result, we've had, by necessity, to live to our means during that time. That's fair enough, because we made the lifestyle choice for my wife to stay at home and raise the kids, whilst I did the 9 to 5. As such, we've had to always find ways to make our money go further. We rarely go out for meals (our Saturday night treat is a curry in front of the telly), when other families go to local attractions, paying the entry fee, having a meal in the cafe and buying gifts, you'll find us at some local spot in the Dales, which is free. We take our own lunch and we find things to do to keep the kids entertained which are free. You'd be surprised how much fun they can have paddling in a stream with a couple of sticks. You probably already know that kids don't need fancy toys, or go to pay-for-attractions to be entertained. They can make their own entertainment. We've learnt to say 'no' and explain that such-and-such costs a lot of money and that mum and dad can't afford it. To be fair, our two girls don't ask for much and can easily find plenty to play with without having to have the latest Barbie Nail Salon set at $999.99 plus GST.
Its hard but is does get better and we've managed to get one holiday a year in the car across to France from sunny Yorkshire, but it took a couple of years to get back on our feet once we were back in the UK.
What I'm saying is that to take two steps forward you might need to take a step back. A couple of years giving up some of the things you hold dear in order to be able to travel around NZ and do all the things you dreamt of, just not as soon as you expected.