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Thread: Goodbyes

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    13

    Default Goodbyes

    Wasn't sure where to post this, so hopefully this will suit ....

    We've just had my Dad come to stay with us for 4 months and whilst we had a few moments getting annoyed with him, we've had a lovely time together. The kids spent some great quality time with their Granddad and we had a "proper" family xmas.

    Trouble is, the 4 months just flew by, and the goodbyes this time were just terrible (we've lived here for over 4 years now). I spent about 24 hours crying, and still can feel myself welling up thinking about the times we've spent together.

    I know it will pass, but at the moment I am just consumed with grief, and guilt about living so far away from the grand parents.

    Would be good to hear how others deal with this.
    TIA,
    Lou

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Wellington, originally USA
    Posts
    915

    Default

    We have just been going through the same thing. Visits from both my parents and partner's mum this month. Emotionally, I'm kind of a wreck. They still pressure us to move back (we've been here 5 years), though they all acknowledge that the lifestyle is much better here, especially for the kids.

    Is there any chance you could sponsor your dad? Would he ever move here more permanently? We've been trying to talk mum into coming for 6 months a year, getting her a flat, etc.

    I hope the most emotional part has passed, and sorry that no one responded to your post sooner (you can totally put this kind of thing in the Living in NZ board, since I think many of us living here have these issues from time to time. Migration really isn't an easy thing).

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    36,087

    Default

    I'm terribly sorry that I didn't see this post before, either.

    You poor thing. Parting is hard, whichever of you is the one who leaves, or who stays behind. I don't think you should feel guilty. Your main loyalty is due to your partner and children, and I can say that as one of the parents who was left behind. Keep telling your Dad how you love him, and keep him in touch with all your news, and news from the grandchildren. I know it's not the same as being present, but webcam sessions and phone calls are SUCH a help.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    NZ to US to NZ. Opua
    Posts
    1,470

    Default

    I'm a Nana and I'm the one who left my grandkids - though I'll be back in the U.S. every year for a couple of months. In the meantime I Skype with them. My youngest granddaughter just turned four and figured out how to Skype me so now she does - sometimes 4 or 5 times a day! I think I see the grandkids more now than when I lived 45 minutes from them. I put my laptop in the kitchen and talk with them while I'm cooking or doing other work. It is almost as good as being there - I just can't hug them.

    In spite of my watching endless documentaries on youtube - plus daily Skype sessions (not just with the grandkids but with friends) I've only use 17 gb's and I'm more than halfway through the 30 day billing session.

    Is your father computer-savvy? If not, I'd set him up with one and show him how to use Skype. It will help.

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