Partnership, as far as INZ is concerned, consists of a provable, live-in relationship. All the other things you mention are not relevant, unless and until a couple live together. (INZ check up very carefully on partnership applications, because there is the least to prove for those visas, and there are many people who pay to get a NZer to lie for them to get them into the country. Since it's impossible to investigate people's feelings, INZ don't even try - it would be like trying to judge who can write the best story. Instead, they rely on the hard facts of living together and having shared responsibilities and reliance, for which there can be evidence.) You are not going to be able to count any time when you are living separately towards your partnership proof.
In order to get Residence based on partnership, you would need 12 months' evidence of living together. See here
http://www.google.co.uk/#output=sear...iw=818&bih=519 for many old threads about the nature of evidence people have used. Therefore, even assuming that all goes well for you as a couple and you decide to proceed to move in together, you are not going to be able to apply for Residence straight away, within the length of your present visa.
For a partner-sponsored temporary work visa, although the regulations don't mention a particular length of time, in practice, from other people's stories shared on the threads, it seems that around three months' partnership proof is the minimum time that INZ immediately take seriously - there have been people whose first application was sooner, who eventually succeeded, but there were many more questions and complications.
I entirely respect your wish not to rush things and to let the relationship develop at its own pace. But practically, there is going to be a balance to find if you decide to go ahead. The factors to consider are the certainty of both of you that you want to proceed, the need for at least the desirable minimum period of evidence of living together, and the time it will take for your visa to be processed, which all need to fit in before your present visa runs out.