Lets please explain what is so wrong with the houses in NZ

[kiwieagle]

... my American parents had a rather feral, somewhat fatalistic ethos around parenting: parent when they're in front of you and accept there's nothing you can do when they're not.

I don't think that was an unusual way to parent as I grew up in a similar manner, a lot of time outside and dinners with boiled vegetables and meat. Coincidentally, there is an article in this month's Atlantic by Hanna Rosin about the ways concern for safety has changed the way people parent. A longing to parent our children the way we were parented (minus the boiled food) is what brought us to our region of NZ. I do know that our rellies in the "big" cities of NZ are actually facing a similar kind of overprotective mentality that permeates big cities in the States. Perhaps this kind of "she'll be right" culture contributes to rural NZ accepting cold houses but also means that kids get to climb trees unsupervised? That's kind of how it's worked for us.

[dharder]

I do know that our rellies in the "big" cities of NZ are actually facing a similar kind of overprotective mentality that permeates big cities in the States. Perhaps this kind of "she'll be right" culture contributes to rural NZ accepting cold houses but also means that kids get to climb trees unsupervised? That's kind of how it's worked for us.

I haven't lived in rural NZ (and never will), but can't say that I find the way to parent here in the suburbs particularly free range (with the caveat that this is the white middle classes). I am almost amazed at how little the children are allowed to do on their own: they are driven to school, to sports, to playdates, etc. Also my personal pet hate about thinking that kids aren't allowed to be left alone until they are 14. That really doesn't help fostering independence and judgement skills.

I have a very different idea of what I want my children to experience. If one is prepared to take the occasional stupid comment from other parents, I think it is perfectly possible to parent your children in the way that feels best suited to your family. Just because no one else does, doesn't mean you can't do it. So our children stay home alone as we see fit, cycle to school and friends, take the bus on their own (and have done all these things for years).

[relocate2014]

I'm 49 now and so far I've managed to get through life being pretty healthy and without a single broken bone. Our next big adventure will be moving to NZ from sunny north east England :-)

I was brought up in the countryside, I climbed trees, lit fires in woods, swam in ponds, played with air rifles and knives, rode bikes without a helmet (I don't think it was even possible to buy one) and was allowed to stay home alone from around 12 years old. I occasionally dropped food onto the kitchen floor, picked it up, dusted it off and ate it, I seldom get an upset stomach, even on a trip to India.

When we first got a cat, I sneezed for a while, then got used to it and didn't sneeze any longer (I became immune I suppose).

We are probably a little more protective of our son - I write 'little more' he does much the same as I did, although I insist he wears a cycle helmet when out on the road. He's a very fit 12 year old and one of the reasons we are moving to NZ is because he wants to be out building dens and tree houses, rain snow or blow. His friends would rather sit in front of their X Box or hang around shopping centres though.

I do think there is too much over-parenting these days and I hate the nanny state, someone else to blame, compensation culture we have here. Kids seem to grow up too quickly without having outdoor fun. Let them be kids for as long as possible, I say.

[relocate2014]

It'll quickly build up one's immune system though. That old saying 'what doesn't kill you, makes you strong'

A bit of bathroom cleaner and elbow grease would soon sort that out :-)

Oh, and I just cannot understand how separate taps (Faucets to those from US of A) are a hardship (I have much more to worry about). Mono-taps are a pretty recent development and taps have been separate since Victorian times. Turn one on for hot, the other for cold - quite straightforward unless maybe you are a premier league footballer and can't understand the concept ;-)

Outside toilets in minus 5 degrees, now THERE is hardship and these were around in UK until around 1970s. The temperature would kill any germ known to man though :-)

Those cleaners that kill 99.9% of germs? It's those hardy .1% buggers that one has to build up immunities against, so go one and touch the basin and taps for heaven's sake, or we'll all be extinct in a few thousand years :-)

Attachment 2999

This is might be gross.

[Hagabel]

My kids were born in the US and were a bit namby pamby! Moved here when they were 4 and 6. They now have tough soles on their feet, shoes get worn to and from school and off all day(invested in a scrubbing brush for said feet!) and they have learnt to climb trees without supervision. We are on property and as long as they let me know if they want to go off property they are allowed to bike to local paths/park/pond etc.

They are also the ones who do 4 different activities between them and would rather be outside than watching TV.

But they wear helmets, shoes when we go out in public (sometimes) and their feet are normally black.

On the subject of germs I am not germ phobic but the lack of sink in the toilet drives me crazy. We are building and a sink is going in the toilet!
So there is hope for the Americans here

[dharder]

We are probably a little more protective of our son - I write 'little more' he does much the same as I did, although I insist he wears a cycle helmet when out on the road. He's a very fit 12 year old and one of the reasons we are moving to NZ is because he wants to be out building dens and tree houses, rain snow or blow. His friends would rather sit in front of their X Box or hang around shopping centres though.

I hope you find what you are looking for, it certainly doesn't exist around where we live. My sons are 14, and their lives as well as their friends revolves around technology. Of course the take part in sports and other things, but that is the organised entertainment that you will have in any country.

[relocate2014]

Thanks, he doesn't ask for much, we have a wood in front of our house. For New Zealand, he's asked to be near woods but I'm sure a few trees will do. Once he reaches 14 I'm sure he'll be more into technology but for now, we just want him to enjoy the outdoors. He's also into Rugby too but in UK it tends for be Football or nothing. We managed to find a Rugby club (which actually trains at his school, the school just failed to mention it, even though he asked). I suppose what you get less of in NZ is freezing wind or drizzle for days or weeks on end.

I hope you find what you are looking for, it certainly doesn't exist around where we live. My sons are 14, and their lives as well as their friends revolves around technology. Of course the take part in sports and other things, but that is the organised entertainment that you will have in any country.

[kiwieagle]

I suppose what you get less of in NZ is freezing wind or drizzle for days or weeks on end.

Depends on where you live in NZ.

[m.a.aparna]

We have been living in wellington, and it is third world with respect to heating. We rent a house for 500+ a week and we were told that there is good insulation and house is warm. It is winter now and the interior temperature is much less than 10 degrees in early mornings and the nights. We have clearly noticed that the interior temperature is only 3 or 4 degrees greater than outdoor temperature. Our power bills are enormous and it is becoming unsustainable. My advice would be to rent for a couple of years and then buy a house which is warm or does not cost you a lot to warm it. Never sign up fixed term contracts for a year, if you are not sure about the house, unless you take an expert with you for those 10 minute lousy house viewings. Everything looks splendid in the summer, and once winter comes you know what you signed up for.