Manipulated into getting a German girl pregnant

[kiwindenmark]

Hi there everyone.


After extensive searching over the net I have not been able to locate any info on my situation, perhaps you guys can shed some light.

The short of the long is I meet a nice German girl while I was in Australia. Things went well except she HAD to go back to Germany. My only option seeing as I wanted to see where this was going to go was to pack up ship and follow. (I am now 29)

In the end we moved to Denmark because I only found work there not in Germany. This lasted for her a while till she moved back again and left me there to travel to see her. We decided (her idea) for one last chance at love by going to spain together. (which is now where I believe was her last chance to get herself pregnant by me) Now please understand we were broken up by then. So we went to spain to see if we had made the right choice and on one of those fateful nights where a few drinks were under us we had unprotected sex.

Weeks passed and it was clear we never want anything to do with each other and then 5weeks later i get the call. Of course I was shocked, but she was happy, which I could not understand cause there is No way i thought she (like me) would want to bring a baby into this world into such a Bad relationship.
An abortion was completely out of the question. She even laughed at me. after trying to talk with her her true colours shinned as she proceded to tell me how I was F%#@3d and would have to pay.

I am totally abused here by this woman because she only wanted someone with a good income and nothing else. I would be happy to do anything for a Normal human who had decent reasons... but this woman is evil If there are some laws which protect men like me from getting totally screwed I would love to know them.

So

Does anyone know my rights being a NZer living and working in Danmark (5year visa 4 to go) to this sexist german government (it seems). I know some countries men can abandon ALL RIGHTS to a child out of love... NZ?
Being that Danmark is part of the EU means that they would work with Germany on this also?

I look totally forward to your replies and await earnestly


Carlos

[JandM]

Danish law. http://ceflonline.net/wp-content/upl...sibilities.pdf pp 12 and 13 seem to apply. How far that would apply instead of EU law in Germany http://ec.europa.eu/civiljustice/par...esp_ger_en.htm (but the page says it is being revised) I've no idea - you'd probably need to consult the equivalent of citizen's advice, or a lawyer.

But what are you thinking of? It takes two people to have a child. How on earth does you having a few drinks followed by unprotected sex become all this woman's fault, whether you now like her or not? One person whose fault it certainly isn't is your poor child. You talk about abandoning 'rights' in a child - do you think the people who raised you would think well of you abandoning your duties to a child? Like it or not, you are necessarily linked to your former partner, since between you you have added to the next generation, and that new person deserves some consideration from both of you. You need to work together in a civil way, i.e. not slanging off the other half of their genetic makeup, to provide for him/her.

[catt]

Takes two to tango.........maybe you shouldn't have tangoed........agree with JandM

[jawnbc]

And this related to NZ immigration...how?

[Fern49]

Well said J&M, I feel very sorry for the baby that is going to be born to these 'parents'.

[dharder]

Sexist German government, favouring women? Now there's a thought I'd never thought I'd hear expressed in earnest.

And as the others have said, this is certainly not her fault alone. You were not 'manipulated' into having sex, you got yourself into this position, so man up. There will be a child here, and it is the child that that has rights that come before yours or hers. If you pay and acknowledge the child as yours, you will have rights to be involved as well in its upbringing. Your former partner should be aware of this as well and also try to make sure the two of you get along for the sake of a child.

Grow up, both of you, for the sake of the poor child.

[shawankit]

You were in Australia when you met and you followed her to Germany and then to Denmark and finally to Spain..... and on first responsibility you want to abandon and run..... Is there any point for me to write further on this post!

[Hagabel]

Why are you posting in NZ forum? And seriously you think she got pregnant alone???

[parpalhou]

hmm, I think the thing that protects men from getting "totally screwed" is not so much a "law" as a "condom."

[kiwindenmark]

Hello everyone. Thank you for all your responses (even the childish ones with nothing actually nothing informative in them.)


I understand a few of you are confused. And are judging me at the same time. Please let me clear a few things up.

I am a NZ born and breed citizen thats why im writing to what I thought my fello country men and women.

I am one to believe in hard work can make anything work. Thats why I went to Denmark and then continued to visit her and see her in Germany after she left. (I didnt want to give up on us so even paid for my house in Germany and hers in Denmark). Spain was a 3 week holiday the supposed last chance at love again. It was just a plot. It takes two to tango but now I have learnt that she had been pricking my condoms also for a while (i dont have this in writing unfortunately) when I was starting to lose hope in us. By the time the last straw hit it was after the holiday when we both (well me) knew there was No hope for us and to start a famliy. (which was the plan from Australia)

I apologize for not clearly stating that I wish to abandon all rights to my child. The point of this thread is to find out all my rights and not get screwed. The German government makes the father pay by percentage of his income. Other governments do it different and my statement about abandonment was just an example about what some countries do for bastard children.

Fern49 said it well... and I am totally against bringing up a child knowingly into a situation like the one im in. Its just not fair on anybody. How can it be right for a woman to have a baby and not care about it only for the purpose of monetary gain? She would be destroying 2lives. I am taking responsibility because there is nothing that can be done to turn back time and she will have the baby no matter what. Like I said I just dont want to get strung for every penny my the mother. Please dont misunderstand, I will give my child the very best and do all in my power to grow him up with all opportunities... That is an investment in life. I do not want to give 1 extra cent to a woman who has had this planned for her own benefit so she will not have to work.

I hope with this you understand a little better and thank you again for your comments especially JandM.

Carlos

Off-Shore Engineer