how do you cope with the waiting for a visa decision? going crazy

[presidentevil]

so long story short. I was in nz for a year on a working holiday visa, towards the end I applied for a partner sponsored work visa with a partner I had met out there (our relationship was 12 months towards the end) which after lengthy to and fro and temporary visa whilst they decided, I was declined due to his criminal record (nothing I had re: medical, police etc had issues)

I had to leave and have been in the UK for 7 weeks. I have applied and been accepted on a course to study there and now I am waiting for a decision on my study visa. How do you cope with the waiting? it's only been 2 weeks, but I am freaking out. what if they decline me again? I'm stuck. I wish they weren't soooooo slow. I have a whole life waiting for me in NZ and I am stuck here

can anyone reassure me or give me strategies for not going mad. it's currently with NZ london.

[JandM]

You poor thing. ((())) I think the only thing to say is, you're not alone as you wait. There are hundreds of people reading this thread who are in just the same boat as you. And it's horrible. And it's not easy.

The only thing I can suggest, which isn't easy but which helps if you can make yourself do it, is to MAKE yourself take notice of whatever is going on around you in real life right now. Every time you find yourself thinking about INZ, or going to log on to check your status if you've already done it within the last two hours, flick a mental switch and quite deliberately think about, or do, something different instead. If life in the UK is so much 'on hold' that you haven't got much in the way of responsibilities right now, invent something to do - preferably something that takes time, concentration and effort.

Good luck.

[kiwieagle]

JandM gave you really solid advice. You must try and live where you are, even if it's temporary. You won't want to waste 7 weeks or more of your precious life! You can't stop being anxious but you don't have to fixate on it all the time. Make sure you know the difference between feeling the emotions and not being able to cope with feeling the emotions.

In my life, there have been several times where I had an impending wait for something, including the wait for visas. These were things that I thought I couldn't possibly handle if they went the negative way. Sometimes they went the way I wanted them but sometimes, they didn't. I survived. I found other opportunities in that defeat. I know it seems impossible to accept the negative possibilities. You can't really make the disappointment go away. You are human. It's okay to be anxious, worried, hopeful, and disappointed. You have to decide, not that you won't be anxious or disappointed, but that you can cope with those feelings. If you feel you can't cope, those emotions are too much, you should talk to someone. Perhaps it's just a trusted friend or perhaps it's a dispassionate professional. Even if it's just once to help you get perspective or formulate a plan, it can help alleviate the anxiety.

[presidentevil]

Thanks for the replies. I guess it's hard to not focus so much on something which is going to have a massive effect on what happens next.

I was emailed today by immigration asking for more information. It looks as though I may be causing concern about my genuineness for a study visa (and it being a temporary visa) given my replies on my partbership visa (where I was trying to convince them of my desire to stay and how I could contribute in the long term. it seems a bit of a double edged sword that one would hamper the other.

I am trying to view it with a calmer air, but if it's a reject again I'm not really sure what sort of life to have in the UK - it hadn't really featured in my thinking so far.

but be assured I am working and seeing friends and family and being productive. It's just horrible having your future in the hands of a bureaucrat with a pen.

[JandM]

It looks as though I may be causing concern about my genuineness for a study visa (and it being a temporary visa) given my replies on my partbership visa (where I was trying to convince them of my desire to stay and how I could contribute in the long term.

I see what you mean. All you can do, I think, is remind them of your determination to be entirely law-abiding - you've left NZ promptly when your previous visa ran out and your other application was rejected, so that ought to count for something when looking at your current application. Good luck.

[presidentevil]

Yes I have said everything you mentioned above. I guess it's up to them. Fingers crossed! (Thanks)