Worrying about the upheaval

[manckiwi]

I've recently booked my flight to NZ, arriving in January, as I intend to return to live. (I lived there for 5 years and have been back in the UK for 4). I've been thinking about going back for so long, and once I'd booked my flight a few weeks ago it felt right in my gut and I couldn't wait to leave here. Strangely though, now I have started really stressing about the upheaval. I love my apartment here which I'm going to rent out and the thought of having to pack up and empty the place, quit my job here (which I actually don't particularly like) and leave behind my comfort zone is worrying me, especially as I'll be leaving it for uncertainty in Auckland. I'll have no job to go to and will be staying with friends initially until I find work and I can imagine at that stage I'll be really missing my apartment and the stability I had. At the moment it feels easier to choose the path of least resistance which is to stay here! I'm really surprised at myself as a few weeks ago as I was 100% sure of my decision. If I could click my fingers and have a job and somewhere to live in Auckland I would be fine, but obviously it doesn't work like that! Are these feelings and doubts normal for someone moving to the other side of the world? Has anyone got any advice?

Thanks!

[JandM]

Yes, it's all absolutely normal. You'll see some among these threads from people with last minute cold feet. https://www.google.co.uk/#q=site:enz...about+the+move

You may feel better if you stop looking so far ahead, and make yourself live in the moment of completing THIS little step, then this NEXT little step - lots of small accomplishments. Also there's nothing wrong with appreciating what is good about your present surroundings, but remember that Auckland has good things too.

[manckiwi]

Thank you! It's good to hear that what I'm feeing is normal. I've just been reading through those threads, and in some of them it's like I'm reading about myself!

I will try and break everything down into manageable chunks as you suggested.

[JandM]

Another thing that might help is to find out and see if you can fix with your friends to go to something that you'd enjoy that will be happening a week or two after you arrive - a music event, a food fair, a sporting fixture, etc.. That might give you something definite to look forward to.

[Fern49]

Great advice from J&M

[manckiwi]

That's a great idea - I'll have a look what's on in January.

[Triston]

Hi mankiwi,

I just read your post about the upheaval. I was born in NZ but have been in the UK for nearly 40 years, I'm 43 now and desperatley want to return to live in NZ.
I felt like you wrote that post about me. I feel exactly like that. One day its all I can think about and theres no question I'm doing the right thing. Then the next day I look around my house a wonder if it is the right thing or not. I plan to move out in 2016 / 2017. I will sell my property here and take my dog.
I havent booked anything yet because I want to save a bit more money before leaving.
I cant really give you any advise on how your feeling, although the advise from JandM sounds great and I will make a note of it. I supose what I'm saying is thanks for sharing your thoughts on such a big move because I feel the same and it sounds like a lot of other people do to.
I hope all goes well and good luck.

[manckiwi]

Good luck with the decisionTriston. I think you have to go with your gut, but even that can change and fluctuate! I know how tough it is - one day I'll think it's 100% right and the next day not. However I'm coming to terms with it all now and am sticking with my decision to go back. Like others have said, it's normal to have doubts.

[Loren]

I have just found this forum and your post is also something I could have written. I left NZ in 1995, so its been 20-years since I last lived there full time. I am going back to live for 1 year and see how it feels. Its difficult because I do not know if it will feel like home or just an unfamiliar place where I don't know anything or anyone. Please post again when you get there and tell us how you feel? I am leaving home in Jan, but I won't get to NZ until late Feb. Very nervous :-)

[manckiwi]

Hi Loren

It's really hard to know how you'll feel - I keep trying to imagine myself there and the emotions/feelings I'll experience, but we'll never really know for sure until we're living there again. I still question all the time whether it's what I want and whether I'm doing the right thing by going back, but as it stands I'm still going in January! I'm expecting a bit of a 'dip' during the initial weeks and months, when I'll be settling in and may not have a job or somewhere permanent to live. We can always return home though if we realise NZ is not for us - at least we'll have tried instead of always wondering whether it would have been right or not. If you're going to be in Auckland I'd be happy to meet up with you at some point and we can compare experiences! Good luck with your move and I'll post again when I've arrived. :-)