Any Londoners homesick (or anyone to that matter)....????

[michala]

I have just emigrated from London to Auckland 10 months ago with my Kiwi husband. I am 30 years old and am finding it very hard to settle here. It seems that the chaos and fast pace of London of which I was happy to get away from I am now missing. I am missing a good old English pub, things to do, good shops and of course my family and friends.

I can see that the life in NZ is a far better place to bring children up, but I do not have any little ones at the moment.! All my husbands family live up here, and they are all really lovely but sometimes it just makes me feel further away from home being with them.

All of the above might sound negative and I know that in time it will get better but I guess that I am suffering from homesickness and it seems that everything looks like it's a pale shade of grey. Has anyone else experienced this whilst trying to settle... or is feeling the same too...?

Michala (please excuse the crying face.... I nearly chose the one drinking beer but changed mind at the last minute.!)

[susanlin]

Hi Michala

I know just how you feel! See my thread - 'homesick - 6 months on........'

Sue

[lindajax]

Hi Michala,
I'm sorry to see your homesick and not settling as well as you anticipated

I have an idea for you and don't know if will help but here goes.
We are buying and persuading all our close friends and rels to get a webcam and microphone so we can see them regularly. Maybe you have them already and its not the same but its just an idea.

There are a couple of people in auckland on the forum and I myself with hubby and child will be comming out 31 Dec and living GOD KNOWS WHERE!!! :eek

Maybe if your still a little blue we could meet and offer each other abit of moral support :hopeso

hope you feel better soon - and remember the first year is the worst and homesickness is normal!!!

Love
linda xxx

[Timbo]

Hi Michala. I am sorry to hear you are feeling a bit down, but as you say, sit tight and it is sure to pass with time.
Lindas suggestion of web cams etc is a great one, I have been looking at the options here in anticipation of moving down to NZ.
Amstrad have recently released a video phone here in uk which allows users at both ends to see who they are talking to, live of course. They are retailing at £99 each but you can get a £20 refund if buying two. Buying two makes obvious sense as one is about as much use as a one legged man in an ar** kicking contest. These phones are possibly a good option for people who A; dont have a PC B; are not very computer minded (like my 72 year old Dad).
I am trying to establish wether they will work on anyting other than UK network. Will post here when I know for sure.
Chin Up.
Tim

[Pugwash]

Hi all,

I will try to be careful what I say - some of my previous postings have been taken the wrong way...

It's sad. What a bloody awful thing home-sickness is. Having been through this time and again, I think what we are really missing is familiarity. In actual fact, we're not really missing much at all. I have been home recently and I soon realised that all of the things and people that I craved were a bit of a let-down when I actually got them back.

(Oh, gosh, I have had too many wines tonight and am just READY for this posting.)

NZ is different. Yes, in places it is shabby and run-down. In other places it is absolutely beautiful. But everthing is new and strange to us. It's not home. Home is something ingrained since childhod, something we take for granted - and we have a sense of belonging for it that NOTHING will ever totally erase. But NZ is good. It really is.

Stop comparing. I did this all of the time when I first arrived and still do to some extent. NZ is NOT Britain. We speak the same language (sort of ay ?) but that's where the similarity ends. The culture (and lots more) is completely different.

It WILL take a while, but eventually you WILL start to recognise and appreciate just what this country has to offer. It's not about material things and certainly not about wealth - it's about lifestyle.

For the record, my son and mother-in-law arrived last week. My son is feeling very low. Missing friends terribly. We can relate to this and it has helped us to see just how much we have settled in that we don't feel quite the same way any longer. My mother-in-law is - well, just being my mother-in-law. My wife (not I) missed her terribly but can't wait till she goes home - she is so British !

We only THINK we miss things (and people). When we have them back, we realise we didn't really miss them at all. We just missed the familiarity. That fades - it really does - and your present surroundings and aquaintances soon become just as familiar. You would miss them too.

Someone mentioned web-cams. Do it ! We did from the start and it was our lifeline. Especially where our son was concerend. Get ADSL too. That way you can have the correct upload/download speeds which provide fluid movement and speech. We chatted all of the time to our son and his friends. We are encouraging all of our friends to get online too.

Don't despair. You ARE in a better place.

[jesselyn]

hi michala,

hugs...

jes :angel

[Diny]

The webcams are an absolute MUST for all concerned - the videophones sound good, but I too wonder whether they would work on overseas calls and other phone companies etc. (Not having the first clue about anything technical).

Pugwash - I found your comment about wanting the mother in law to leave because she's 'so British' abit odd - actually quite sad - but there again, I'm just abit of a sook when it comes to parents. When you say she's 'so British' I had to smile - I know what you mean. However - and I mean this in a light hearted way - I sometimes feel that 'bashing the British' makes folk feel more 'Kiwi-fied' .... in fact - you are British too.

It's a strange world we live in.

Diny

[Timbo]

You were right to be sceptical Diny. The Amstrad web site states that the video phone will only work on uk network.
Back to the drawing board for me. I dont think I will ever get the old man to use a web-cam.

[Moorf]

Pugwash - a week ago that post of yours wouldn't have rung true for me, BUT, just one week on it really, really does. A week ago I was "homesick", but I now realise it was the lack of familiarity and the rituals and habits of life in the UK.

Everything from grocery shopping to house hunting is different - yet familiar. It's hard to explain. :?

Don't get me wrong, I still get a little "pang" of homesickness when I speak to my brother online (Messenger) and he talks about the kids and my parents, but that happened when we lived at the other end of the UK from them too! It's natural.

But if you hold on to the idea that you are "missing out" or that things were better back home then you may find it takes rather longer for you to start integrating.

[leslie]

omigod...

i cannot wait to feel homesick! if it makes you feel any better life in england just gets worse by the hour. just last week people drove around a woman collapsed in the road - it turned out she'd survived an attack and dragged herself to the road - and not one crass soul bothered to stop... and this was gentil kent. i am glad people still want to live here as we have to sell our house, but i am soooooooooo looking forward to being back in nz and having the luxury of boredom. its like anything/ anywhere, you make your own life. you either grab it by the horns or let it trample you. in my experience - albeit 10 years ago - nz offers a huge amount of opportunity - and that is from someone who grew up in canada during its glory days. we are affluent londoners, my hub a young successful architect with his own practice, and still the restrictions shackle. what its like living here on less??? we are both dreaming the possibilities...

everyone always cites 'missing m&s' as a major trauma so lets put it in simple perspective - the way its going M&S won't be here in a few more years but all those people in kent will.