Regarding places to live, experience shared on the forum on the past shows that, because people's likes and dislikes are SO personal to them, it's best not to rely on recommendations. For example, you've said already that you might think one place is too quiet, and someone trying to help you might always WANT quiet. You might want outdoor space, and the helpful poster might love townhouses with minimal exterior land. There are all kinds of individual must-haves that won't necessarily match your own. For this reason, many people when first arriving take a short-term rental (e.g. a hostel, AirBNB, holiday let (which are cheaper if booking for several weeks very often)), to give themselves time to experience the areas they are thinking about, by going there at different times of day to see things like what the road traffic and foot traffic is like, how the sun affects buildings because of local hills (aspect can make a lot of difference for NZ homes) as it goes round, to check out nearness to local clubs or activities family members might like to get involved with, etc.. There's also the "this is IT" factor - the gut instinct we all have, when we just plain like the vibes of some particular house or area - and nobody else can judge that for you.
When you're thinking about schools, have a look on each school's website, to see if it has a zone (like a catchment area) that you need to live in in order to be eligible for admission for your children. This may help to define whereabouts you will need to be looking for a home.