Originally Posted by
montana
Must admit when I saw that over 60 people had read my post but not responded my paranoia level really went up! I started thinking "Oh well I guess everyone else found it really easy to make friends and it is just me!" Or that everyone thought I should just suck it up and quit whining about not meeting people/making friends.
Hi Montana
No it's not just you. I find it excruciating to 'put myself out there' and also to reply to your thread.(And yes I can see some people going
at that!) Working from home means it would have been easy to turn into a hermit or the mad woman that feeds the birds.
I struggled at first, OH had a normal job, meeting people and working in an office and I was stuck at the end of an internet connection.
I hated him coming home and telling me what he had done, who he had met, when I hadn't even managed the shopping, but s-l-o-w-l-y I met some (now very) good friends from this forum. I began to be more confident in going to places, cafes, shops etc. I function better on familiar territory, so once I knew a place, I managed to go back alone. Me sitting having coffee alone with a book, bliss, but unknown before.
I joined pilates, yoga and like Sal says, never turned down an invite, even the opening of an envelope and even when I had to go on my own. I also joined a dance class twice a week (think Dumbo in a tu-tu here) and made friends and coffee mates, people that said hello in the supermarket. None of that was easy for me, but I didn't fancy sitting in on my own forever, while my UK friends lived their lives.
We've now moved to a smaller community, where the doc's receptionist knows your name without asking and the deli lady says she has your fav Kumara cakes in that day and as people approach you, you will find it easier to move forward. Some may think Stepford wives but I like the fact my neighbours say, welcome to your new home with a bottle. Another lovely forum member took me to the pub ladies night
and I certainly wouldn't have gone on my own.
I'm booking art classes at the local gallery after chatting to the owner for an hour and a half! and I helped the post office lady mend her printer, just because I asked her how her carpy day was (and she told me). I've done voluntary work with the elderly and children in the UK and in the future I'd like to work with the elderly again. There's a scheme here where you can give 20 mins to people and help them out in the home.
It doesn't happen overnight and I cringe at the tears I had missing my friends and feeling sorry for myself, but believe me you can do it. Just breathe in, straighten those shoulders, SMILE and say Hi my name is ..........
Good luck.